Reflections of Speaking in DC during the Inauguration—Part 1

My flight into DC on Sunday night, January 18th, started in Omaha, NE. I spent the weekend at Christ Community Church of Omaha, a Christian and Missionary Alliance (C&MA) Denominational church, with my friend Richard Engle. What a great, loving group of people who genuinely have a heart to learn about building bridges with GLBT people. It isn’t often I can say that every person I met throughout that weekend was humbly trying to listen, learn and understand what it means to try and grasp the gay community through the gay community’s filtration system. Not only that, but I was excited at how many GLBT people attended the service—not that it is too much of a surprise anymore because it seems that no matter what church or conference I'm at or speak at (no matter how conservative or fundamental) there are always GLBT people who come to listen. But what did surprise me was the solidly constructed relationships those gays and lesbians already had with the largely conservative congregation. It seems as though many of the individuals at Christ Community have done a magnificent job on their own, and thus, the reason they were so eager to gain some additional perspective and framework to make their bridge building efforts more sustainable—corporately and individually.

I would also be remise not to mention the few precious hours I got to spend with my great friend—Chris Heuertz—International Executive Director of Word Made Flesh and author of Simple Spirituality. I truly love and respect him so much. Each time we are together his brilliant mind and his theologically and socially stimulating thoughts and ideas push and challenge my own to continue experientially integrating my faith into social environments within everyday life. He is the real deal, and I’m so blessed to call him a friend.

On Sunday evening I flew out of Omaha (and I was bummed I didn’t have any time to try and stalk Warren Buffet) en route to DC to speak at an interfaith event on Capitol Hill the night before the Inauguration. I had a quick layover in Chicago (which always annoys me when I have a layover in Chicago because that is my home—why do I have to layover in my own home?!). And when I boarded my United flight to Reagan National Airport, that’s when the impact of where I was going hit me square in the face.

I fly quite a bit so I’m fortunate enough to have a great status with United allowing me to sit in upgraded seats in the front of the plane. As I was one of the first to board I quickly noticed something interesting—I was the only white person I could see. I looked toward the entrance to the plane and started keeping a tally of the ethnicities of the people who boarded. On a completely sold out flight, there was only a total of 17 non-black people on the plane:

9 white people,
a family of 5 Indian people (of which 2 were kids),
and 3 Asians

As I sat in my seat looking around I started to tangibly realize the magnitude of what was going on. Not only so, but every African-American person on this late-night flight was dressed in their Sunday best—suits, ties, hats, dresses, heals, jewelry, long business coats, furs, etc. More-so for them than I could have ever grasped as a recipient male of white privilege, even the plane ride to DC deserved to be treated with respect and honor; the same respect and honor that each moment of this Inauguration experience means to African-Americans all of the world. Looking at this I was reminded that years ago, black people were only counted as 3/5ths the person of that of a white man. And now with as much pride as they could muster, a plane full of festive and exuberant African-Americans were about to fly to Washington DC to witness history first hand.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Ted Haggard's Documentary

A Facebook friend of mine, Darin Brown, sent me this link to an article by ABC News about Ted Haggard’s entrance back into the public eye after his scandal of down-low drugs and gay sex behind his family’s, congregation’s and all the rest of the evangelical world listening to his direction as President of the National Association of Evangelical’s back. Wow, that’s a mouthful. Darin wanted to know my take, so here you go…

It’s a well written article about the sad and pitiful life that has become Ted Haggard, Mike Jones (the man who ‘outed’ Haggard) and the surrounding cast of characters that have been caught woven this web (mainly his family). In the beginning of the article Haggard “blames his father” for everything that has happened to him in the past couple of years—his father started sexually molesting him at 7 years old. These are confusing times in a confusing life in a confusing world, and in reading that revelation it’s hard for me to critique Haggard’s life and experiences because they are a legitimate expression of what has happened to him in his past.

We all have to remember that no child—no person—should ever be molested, raped or be sexually, physically or mentally abused! Therefore I have no judgment for what such a situation psychologically does to a human’s psyche, and how that affects them moving forward. I’m just going to go off of what I know about him—you can read the article and make those other conclusions for yourself.

But I do know this much—sexual abuse does not mean someone will be gay or lesbian. I spent a section in my book about this topic because I feel it’s an easy way for the Christian community to copout against entering into a place of tension with the GLBT community without knowing the answers to the “why questions” for God. Sexual abuse is not normal—gay or straight. Research shows that there is an average of about 5-7% of the GLBT community who admitted to have been sexually abused as a child. Now, Ted Haggard could definitely have had his same-sex attractions come as a result of his father’s abuse, but far be it for any of us—or him—to so easily state that as fact. I question Haggard’s statement because three weeks after the scandal hit the press he made a public statement saying he is “completely heterosexual.” If it were that easy for him, why didn’t he do it earlier by stopping the paid-gay sex before it tarnished him and embarrassed his wife and kids? And if it were that easy for him, why in this ABC News article does he say that he “continues to struggle with same-sex attraction”?

Saying after three weeks that he is “completely heterosexual” is a spit in the face to all the true, honest and committed people in this world who faithfully work to overcome their same-sex attractions. Just the same, that statement is just a much of a spit in the face to all of the true, honest and committed people in this world who have faithfully tried “reorientation therapy”, but are now faithful and committed gay Christians.

And if all along Ted Haggard had a same-sex attraction, don’t you dare stand up at the pulpit of a 12,000 person church and as the President of a 30 million person strong National Association of Evangelicals and say on the record:

"We don't have to debate about what we should think about homosexual activity. It's written in the Bible." Then Haggard looks into the camera and says kiddingly: "I think I know what you did last night," drawing laughs from the crowd. "If you send me a thousand dollars, I won't tell your wife." Later, another joke for the cameraman: "If you use any of this, I'll sue you."

None of that is funny Mr. Haggard, especially since at that exact time you were cheating on your wife with a male prostitute and taking crystal-meth.

HBO will be airing a documentary of Haggard on January 29, and coincidentally enough, the director of the documentary is none other than the daughter (Alexandra Pelosi) of the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. That is a strange clash of worlds in-and-of-itself because it is the same Nancy Pelosi who’s constituency is in San Francisco—and there are a number of conservative Christian organizations (the same Christian organizations who Haggard once represented) that constantly bash Nancy Pelosi for her continuing endorsement of the San Francisco Folsom Street Fair. I find it very strange that Haggard would pick the daughter of the person who endorses what Haggard’s target audience thinks is a depraved abomination.

This makes me wonder a few things:

-Does he think he’ll get more of a fair shake on screen about his past if it comes from a very liberal director whose mom is political public allies with the GLBT community?

-And whether that is true or not, the surrounding evidence still leads me to question Haggard’s motives for making this documentary—just to get back into the public eye or is he really making a true plea for redemption?

My thought is that if he were really making a true plea for redemption to the broader Christian community, he would do so with his target audience (conservative Christians) in mind—and there are no lack of conservative Christian documentary directors.

I don’t claim to know Ted Haggard. Maybe one day I’ll have the stomach to watch his documentary—not on January 29th though. I know too many spouses and children who are indelibly affected by parents who are “found out” after the fact—and it makes me sick to think of the people who willfully caused that pain.

And the one thing I keep thinking—his poor wife and kids—how embarrassing and tragic for them. And they couldn’t do a darn thing about it.

I hope the best for Ted Haggard and his family. I also hope that he would just tone down the public rhetoric of his now all-of-a-sudden “having a message of redemption for a lot of people struggling with sexual issues” and peacefully and quietly seek God with all he has from a far distance away from any TV or documentary cameras.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Non-Profit Life

I don’t like Mondays. You might think I don’t like Mondays for many of the same reasons everyone else doesn’t like them. You’re right. But, and there is a big but, here is my dilemma:

Since The Marin Foundation doesn’t have a huge staff (and by huge I mean anything above 3 people), I get stuck spending all of my time on Mondays doing the thing I can't stand doing more then anything else—administrative work. Monday is my designated “Administrative Day”.

From the time I get to work Monday morning until the time I leave Monday evening I:

-do my expense reports
-collect the previous week’s donations
-make receipts for those donations
-prepare thank you notes for those donations (and stamp and stuff the envelopes)
-deposit the donations
-balance the budgets
-run any office errands that might need to be run
-coordinate times and schedules for the volunteers and interns for their next week of participation
-And my absolute favorite—like what happened this Monday—try to somehow fix any technology problems; in which I have absolutely no clue how to do.

I know, I’m 28 and my generation is thought of as the technology generation. I guess I missed that one. Instead, I call my I.T. guy (also known as my Dad—who for some odd reason is one of the only people in his generation who knows everything about technology).

Then as I promptly wasted a good and annoying 7 hours ramming my head against my concrete wall trying to figure out how to fix my broken computer, my Dad (who unfortunately is not local and can’t physically be there to always help me), finally laid it to me straight:

“You’ve had that computer for about 7 years now, which in computer life is like 126 years old. It’s time to get a new one.”

So that’s what I did today picking it out with the help of my I.T. guy!

As I was going through this ridiculous mess I started to think to myself, “Man, how much more productive could I be if for eight hours every single Monday I didn’t have to be The Marin Foundation’s accountant, assistant, janitor and national project coordinator?”

Ah, but such is the life and growing pains of owning and running your own 501(c)(3) non-profit organization that works to build bridges between two culture-clashed communities—you can’t always find (or have the luxury to pay a great salary to) the full amount of help you might need or want.

Sooooooo…..anyone want to raise some support and come to Chicago?! Hit me up!

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Public Opinion with Athletes Talking about God

**Disclaimer: This post is about sports—college football in particular. I’m sorry if you don’t follow sports or know any of the names I’m going to mention, but you’ll get the idea of the main point that I’m communicating.

So …

Yesterday I was watching ESPN (shocker….), and on the show Rome Is Burning hosted by Jim Rome, sports columnist Rick Telander (pictured above) from the Chicago Sun Times was a guest. Telander went on to say that the main reason the Heisman trophy winner and current University of Florida junior quarterback Tim Tebow (pictured below) decided to return to college for his senior season instead of entering the NFL draft was to “continue to wrongly proselytize everyone about his faith” (Tebow’s parents are Christian missionaries in the Philippines, where he was born).

And then Telander started to say the same things about the most well respected head coach in the NFL, Tony Dungy (pictured below) claiming that because of the separation of Church and State athletes and coaches shouldn’t talk about their faith. I hate to bring this to Telander's attention, but Church, State and professional sports have nothing to do with each other.

Here’s my only point to Mr. Telander:

Just because he doesn’t like to hear about the faith and God of Tebow and Dungy, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t talk about it when they feel God is the reason they’re able to do what they do—on the stage they have. I think Mr. Telander is forgetting that we live in a free, democratic society—the same free democratic society that allows him to write his opinionated column each and everyday in the Chicago Sun Times as well as being able to give his opinions on national TV.

This is the second time I’ve heard Telander publically make a derogatory comment about Tebow talking about God. And before he does it again, maybe Telander should thank Tebow and Dungy’s God for setting up a system of free-will, allowing Telander to get paid to freely communicate his derogatory opinion about God in culture on national TV without penalty against him for his words. If Telander gets to publically state his opinions about his thoughts on God in sports, then so can Tebow and Dungy.


Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Obama and Bishop Robinson

Since yesterday I have been asked quite a few times what my thoughts are regarding Obama's choice of the first openly gay Episcopal Bishop, Gene Robinson, to give the Invocation at the Lincoln Memorial. Just like I believed that Obama strategically chose Rick Warren to publicly reach out in a bipartisan nature to the millions of conservatives around the country, so I believe he is doing the same for the gay community by selecting Robinson.

The GLBT community has been UP IN ARMS at Obama recently, totally furious at him since his selection of Warren. I have been told by many in the gay community across the country that they see the choice of Warren as a stab in the back by Obama because of Obama's promises about repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell and his favorable take on gay civil unions. For that sole reason, it is my belief that Robinson is the quickest and most efficient way to tone down the blasts coming from an entire population of people who more then had Obama's back when election day rolled around. Politics is what it is, and Obama seems to be politically maneuvering with the best that have ever come (at least in my lifetime, thus far).

At the very least I can say this much:

During any election whoever is running for an office always talks about bipartisanship: "I will reach across the political divide and unite."

You can quote any politician who has ever run - they all say the same stuff. And whenever I hear those words from a politician I easily disregard them because I don't think I've ever actually seen it happen on a large public scale. And if it has, it's usually just the "safe" pick of a person who is already three-quarters of the way to the other side. Until now. It seems to me that Obama is trying to actually reach across and do something - or at least make a statement. Who knows if this is all for show or if it will last. But at least he's trying to set some type of unique precedent the day he takes office.

I live in Chicago and I come from the political juggernaut that is Chicago politics, so I'm naturally very skeptic of anyone that received their on-the-job political training in my unfortunately corrupt city and State. Though for the time being, good for Obama and what he's trying to do. I can only pray his original bipartisan promises continue.

Here is a great article from the New York Times about the Obama/Robinson situation.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

What are Dreams and Where do they Come From?

Those questions are something that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately because I have no idea what’s the right answer to either of them. The reason dreams have been on my mind is because I’ve been having some real funky ones as of late. And by funky I mean strange, not-so-nice or haunting. None of them have been reoccurring, but each one has a really vivid story, plot, cast of characters (all of whom I know personally in one capacity or another) and something horrible, sad or debilitating always happens. The dream is that of a third party—like I’m watching myself in a movie—and I’ll always wake up right before the conclusion. Thinking about it now, that might actually be a good thing with the pattern my dreams have been following. I won’t go into a lot of detail (otherwise the length of this post would be longer then my book), but here are some of the more recent ones:

-My entire family gets shot in front of me as we are all walking up the driveway to go home and for the rest of the dream I’m dodging the murderers from killing me too.
-I’m back in college playing baseball again and when it’s my turn to bat, I’m always skipped as I stand on the on-deck circle waiting for my turn—a turn that never comes. I stand there watching everyone else launch baseballs off of their bats as I long for just one more time to feel what it’s like to get a hit.
-The devil morphs itself into different everyday objects and then pops out at me at different times throughout the course of my everyday life. He then tries to kill me over and over again, beating the living daylights out of me. I end up constantly fist fighting him and in the fight he’ll disappear and then reappear in the form of another object shortly after.
-I’m in an airport terminal and I’m sitting at my gate and my flight never gets called, and no one has any answers as the rest of life flies by and I’m stuck not knowing how to catch up or get out.
-Vivid images from my past that I would never want to relive (times of sorrow, guilt, sadness, death).
-An army (definitely bad guys) of some sort chasing me, and we end up at my parent’s house (the house they still live in and the house I grew up in). They kill my family trying to find me and they finally do find me hiding—and then I wake up.

All of these darn dreams are dramatically affecting my sleep, and no matter how many hours I get a night it still feels like I’ve pulled an all-nighter, every night. I need an answer to what's going on—or at least I’d like one. It would be easy for me to fall into anyone of the many classic interpretations about dreams—whether secular psychological or Christian based. The secular world would like me to believe that there are symbols or archetypes imbedded in the dreams, where certain objects or scenarios mean certain things in real life. The Christian world would generally attribute good dreams to God and bad or unsettling dreams to the devil or evil spirits. But that would all be too easy. Besides, I don’t know if I agree with any of those beliefs. Who knows; maybe it’s just some rogue brain synapses randomly firing that causes a mixture of memories and fears? If that’s the case, I wonder why the rogue synapses don’t ever create for me happy or comforting dreams?

I am one of those people who remember dreams with crystal clear clarity. I’ve always remembered them as far back as my mind will let me go. And as I think about my time growing up, I clearly remember that my dreams—even as a kid and teenager—were still as terrible as they are today. This is not to say I never have a peaceful nights sleep. In fact, I have many peaceful and refreshing nights sleep—just not recently or with 99.9% of the dreams I remember. Maybe it’s just that I only lock-in and remember the bad dreams, which is why I never remember the good dreams that give me a rested spirit in sleep?

Recently I’ve been praying and talking to God until the moment I fall into REM sleep, and that has just seemed to produce more spiritually related haunting dreams. Who knows what any of this is or means. I just hope that I can, soon enough, once again sleep peacefully and know what it’s like to wake up refreshed. I do know this much though—our God is a God beyond dreams. I’ll stick with that in place of any of the previous explanations and know that no matter what happens in my head while I sleep, the God of the present while I’m awake is far greater then any fear, guilt or situation that might haunt me as I sleep.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Big Personal News about the Inauguration

I recently got a phone call from the Olive Branch Interfaith Peace Coalition in Washington DC—and they asked if I could speak at their interfaith service and vigil the night before the Inauguration. The theme of the service is Peaceful Nonviolence, inspired by Martin Luther King Jr. I will be talking about the impact of homophobia and bridging the evangelical community (originally there was a well-known Jewish Rabbi who was to talk generally on the topic of homophobia, but due to a cancellation they thought an evangelical Christian instead, would raise eyebrows; and they thought of me!). Among the others (from a variety of different faiths) who will be speaking is Jim Wallis from Sojourners, and in attendance at their DC service will be a variety of Washington politicians and governmental elite.

What a sweet opportunity! I feel so blessed and I am very excited for this chance to be in Washington the night before the Inauguration and talk about the importance of God’s call and command to build bridges between His children and the GLBT community. And to think that there will be other faiths and politicians in attendance, pray that the Lord’s words through me that night will draw many more people to Him.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Promotional Video for Love Is An Orientation

Check this out - it's the promotional video for my book, Love is an Orienation (which you can buy here or here)! Feel free to visit YouTube and write some comments and reviews!!!!! I hope you love it....

Much love.

http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Wise Words from a Unique Source

Here is the conclusion to a book I just finished. I thought it was relevant and profound. He said:

"“Early in my career I went around telling everyone of my lofty goals—that I’d be the best ever in my field. People laughed at me.

You’re crazy man.
Can’t be done.
Yeah right! No one in history has done the things you’re talking about.
You’re dreaming.

Maybe I was dreaming, but it was an attainable dream. I knew it all of those things could be done, just as I know I was going to be the guy to do them. I never once doubted myself, and that’s the attitude that gets me through everything.

Nobody is gong to tell me I can’t do something. Nobody. And when the world tries to beat you down, you don’t let it. It’s that simple. You stay positive. Focused. Keep your eyes on the prize. Put on blinders. Don’t look left, don’t look right. The goal is right there in front of you, and that’s where you need to be looking.

I was single-minded about becoming who I am today, and it paid off. And like I said, maybe that’s what it takes to succeed—that drive and that desire and that intensity. But if you want something badly enough, you’ll work for it. And when you get there, you’ll realize that everything you did to get there was worth it.

My daughter, Josie, will be a teenager soon. I’ve tried to be a good father, and I think I’ve succeeded more often than not, though I’m sure I come up short from time to time. Still, in one area I believe I’m actually qualified to give advice, and that concerns this business I’ve been talking about—this business about setting goals.

Josie, if you’re reading this, please pay attention: You can do anything you want in life. Anything. All you have to do is figure out what you want, and who you want to be, and stay on track. It will not happen overnight, but if you believe in yourself, and you stay focused, and if every step you make is a step in the direction of that goal, even a tiny step, you will make it. You will reach your goal.

Along the way, people will tell you that it can't be done. That you’re dreaming. That you should lower your sights and expectations. Don’t listen to them. They don’t know what they’re talking about, and they have already been defeated by life. And never, ever, lose faith in yourself [or God]. Keep dreaming.”"

These words were written by Jose Canseco in his second book, Vindicated. That’s right—the same steroid Jose Canseco that blew the lid off of the hidden secrets of Major League Baseball. But he does have a point, he does know something about achieving goals. He promised to his dying Mom that he would become the best baseball player on the face of the earth, and he did—in record fashion. He was the first player in baseball history to hit 40 home runs and steal 40 bases in a single year. He won the American League MVP award. He won 2 World Series rings. And he signed the highest paid contract in Major League history (to that point), 5 years for $23.5 million.

In the end, he accomplished his goals, and so I think we should listen to his wise words. What about the steroids—didn’t those give him an unfair advantage? For what it’s worth, I actually believe him that about 80% of all Major Leaguers were doing the stuff. So no, they didn’t give him an unfair advantage against the majority of people he was playing against. None the less, re-read his words, and they’re encouraging and applicable to all of us chasing a dream others don’t think can happen—whether that is breaking baseball records or wanting to build a bridge between the GLBT and religious communities.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Weigh-in #1

I weighed myself today, like I promised I would do, exactly 3 weeks after I started my shrink-me-down-to-somewhat-normal-sized-again-please workout and diet.

I checked in at 256 lbs even. That is a loss of 3.5 lbs.

Not bad considering I gorged myself during Christmas (which in my world constitutes December 23-28) and then again on New Years (which in my world constitutes December 31-January 2).

My next weigh-in will be on January 28th.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

God in Quiet Time? –Part 2

In the last post I talked about my belief that the label “quiet time” should actually be called (and lived out as) “spending time with God” throughout the entirety of a day—due to the pressure (internal and external) that is put on a person to feel or hear something significant in a designated time slot having to be with God.

Here’s where this all came from:

I just got done speaking at North Park University (NPU) and I was waiting on Foster St. for the #92 bus to take me back to my office. I had a great talk as the undergrads at NPU really resonated with my thoughts, stories and challenges (can I just add a side note to say how much I love the folks over at NPU’s Center for Youth Ministry Studies—every time I’m there it’s a total first class event). I was flying high, and yet when the final Q&A time had finished and I packed up my stuff to head out, by the time I got to the bus stop I felt very incomplete. I hadn’t had my quiet time that morning, or the last ten or twelve mornings for that matter.

And I felt like a huge hypocrite.

How could I stand in front of a bunch of undergraduate students at a Christian university and teach them about building bridges with gays and lesbians and tell them how important the Holy Rock is in the process, and then know in the back of my head I hadn’t done what I thought I needed to do?

I started to cry at that bus stop. I felt like a fraud and I couldn't stop apologizing to God. And that is when his gentle and loving voice swept through my spirit and brought peace. He said:

“Andy, spending time with me isn’t just an extended chunk of silence. You’re not less connected to me because you haven’t sat down in a traditional form of quiet time. Your quiet time with me is all day, because you talk to me all day Andy. Relationship is not about the ask, it’s about the communication. And your daily communication with me is full and loved. Keep your spirit open and keep talking, and stop feeling bad or guilty about missing what you think is a proper amount of quiet time.”

We are all to live our daily lives fully encompassed in relationship and conversation with God, with the cognitive recognition we’re in his presence even when we don’t feel it. I have come to believe that many people think a successful quiet time has to be based on a feeling of ... [fill in your own blank] rather than the cognitive recognition of the sacrifice of being intentional to be in relationship with God throughout the day. So let’s then concentrate on the process of the relationship with our Creator and not just the block of time.

The lingering question then, is that: “You said in the beginning of the first post that alone time with God is not only a good practice, it’s also needed—what's up with your contradictions?”

I’m not asking anyone to go wholesale and ditch a traditional form of quiet time. But what I am asking is for people to put a proper perspective on what quiet time is meant to be—not limiting yourself or God to a half hour, an hour, two hours, etc. of time in a day that is meant to be the time to communicate with—or be communicated by our Father. My words are not an enlightenment on quiet time, they are a not-so-subtle reminder that the burden of being with God does not just have to permeate within a label of what we recognize as quiet time.

Therefore we are to “spend time with God” walking daily in the knowledge that our real-time God exists as such, and in speaking with him throughout the day is the same relationally, conversationally, and just as effective as spending all day, every day in quiet time with God.

If you don’t box God in, you won’t be boxed in yourself.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/