2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 3 of 11

Here’s the back-story to this video:

This man was involved in a church and when he decided to tell leadership of his same-sex attractions they put him into therapy (not forcefully because he agreed to do so) and they put his works in the church on “probation” until he didn’t have same-sex attractions anymore. After trying and trying with no change in the attractions, he gladly left the church and now will not go anywhere unless the church, as he said, “are not concerned who he sleeps with.”

Another casualty we created because we didn’t know how to build Christ’s bridges in the right way.

His life now is on our heads for causing his current state. Why? Because he started with a traditional interpretation of Scripture and look where he’s at now because he “couldn’t succeed vs. his struggles”. Listen closely here for a second: if there is something we need to take from this interview, it’s that the Church needs to reorient its understanding of what a successful outcome looks like. If the only metric of success is to “be straight” then we’re not going to ever really be able to make a difference because what constitutes straight? Marriage? Children? What if the person is still gay and just wants an outside facade to blend in? Is that success then? Is success no more attractions to the same-sex, ever? What about unwanted fantasies that can't be overcome? What about gay Christians? What about celibacy? What about the replacement for intimacy if celibate? Where does that come from?

Too many questions and too few answers because many of us have never invested the time, effort and relationships into figuring it out because the majority Church is just concerned with one label: S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T.

Think about this, if not success, then the only other option is failure. And if success/fail are the only two options we offer (all the while not clearly defining the different shades of one’s journey along the way), we’re not caring enough to authentically enter into someone’s life story with them, now are we? It seems that the Church thinks the ends (being straight) justify the means (don’t care how you get there, just get there—and get there quick. And if it takes too long or done in the fashion deemed appropriate then you’re a failure). When my understanding of what it is to build a Christlike bridge with the GLBT community is the exact opposite (see Love is an Orientation, specifically pages 146-160).

His life is another unfortunate example of us keeping the GLBT community at arm’s length in the most horrific way:

Telling them we love them and want to be there with them throughout everything, and in deception setting up a structure of success and failure that the majority of the time equates to failure. What happens when someone fails, then?! Do we just let them go and not give a second thought because they weren’t successful enough???—well, we did with him and the majority is ok with that.

But it’s not ok with me and I hope it's not ok with you either.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 2 of 11

This is the first interview I conducted at the Parade. As soon as I got there I saw a group of people wearing purple shirts with the transgender logo on them (you’ll see the logo in the video). None of the people in the shirts “looked” transgender, so I went up to them and asked what they were walking for. It turns out that they were parents who have transgender kids. Two of these parents were more than happy to be interviewed on camera, and here are their thoughts on two questions:

1. What would you like to say to the Church as a parent of a transgender kid

and

2. What can the Church do to tangibly serve your transgender kid?

Notice that when the dad is talking, he’s eyes are welling up because he’s fighting back some major tears. In talking to him off camera he got very emotional as this was his first parade—he’s just trying to learn to live and love amidst everything going on in his, and his child’s life.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 1 of 11

I recorded this video from my condo after the parade, as a real-time summary of what you are going to see, feel and hear over the next two weeks as I post the remaining ten videos from my participation in the 2009 Gay Pride Parade in Chicago.

As I said in the video, this is a time to reflect as we take everyone’s words during the interviews as a legitimate expression of what each person’s experience has been, and where they are currently. My favorite slogan—right from the gate you can’t relate—and this is a huge step forward as we are able to place the GLBT community’s metric upon ourselves to know the boundaries of what it is to make significant things happen for the Kingdom.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Interesting Book Clubs on Love is an Orientation

On the blogs, Not the Religious Type and Crossroads, they are both doing a book club on Love is an Orientation. Feel free to chime in if you’re interested!

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Andrew Marin on the Praxis Podcast

Last week I had the privilege of being interviewed for the Praxis Podcast. I’m being dead honest when I say this:

It was the absolute most fun I’ve ever had on an interview!

DJ and Aaron (the hosts) kept it fun, laughable and serious all at the same time. It was a blast. I know you all with enjoy this … ESPECIALLY the last 17 minutes, which include 10 off the wall questions they asked me totally unrelated to homosexuality as well as the outtakes from the interview!

Listen to it here.

And while you’re on their site, take a listen to Professor Soong-Chan Rah talking about the white captivity of the Western church—it’s fascinating and controversial!

Hope you enjoy the fun!!!

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Andrew Marin on theooze.tv Part 2

Here is Part 2 of my interview with Spencer Burke and theooze.tv. Instead of commenting here, go to this link and rate the interview and join in on the conversation - there are some polarizing views already posted. Let's show some folks what peaceful and productive bridge building conversations look like.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Living in the Tension (LITT) Community Gathering

Each LITT will start at 7pm in Room 120 at 5255 N. Ashland Ave in Chicago. Here are the remaining dates and forum topics:

June 25: Gay Pride Parade: Original Intent and Current Purpose

July 22: I Do Exist—Ex Gay Viewing and Discussion

Aug 11: Discussion with a Gay Secular Person

Aug 27: Discussion with an Ex-Gay Person

Sep 17: Discussion with a Gay Christian

Oct 8: Secret Confessions (Oct 11th National Coming Out Day)

Nov 5: Gay Marriage

Nov 17: Discussion with a Straight Conservative Christian

Dec 3: Discussion with a Celibate Person

Dec 14: The Actual Argument

Here is a reminder of why The Marin Foundation hosts these discussions:

Purpose for Living in the Tension Community Gathering:

Christians need to start willfully planting themselves in the middle of some very uncomfortable places—making a conscious commitment to stay in that place with the GLBT community. In 1963 Martin Luther King Jr. was locked up in a jail in Birmingham, Alabama. In a letter to confront his fellow white clergymen, MLK reflected on his life’s work to that point and said: “I must confess that I am not afraid of the world tension. I have earnestly opposed violent tension my whole life, but there is a type of constructive, non-violent tension which is necessary for growth.”

I’m going to be real right now—the Christian community has been running from that constructive, non-violent tension for too long when it comes to gays and lesbians. The productive growth that MLK was talking about only comes retrospectively, after much time has been spent immersed in tension filled areas with what we are most uneasy about. Those tension-filled areas are dirty, uncomfortable, confusing, overbearing and uneasy. And they’re worth every minute for the kingdom we so boldly claim ourselves to be a part of.

Mission Statement:

For gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, ex-gay, celibate and straight (progressive and conservative) people to all willfully enter into a place of constructive tension, intentionally forming a community that peacefully and productively takes on the most divisive topics within the culture war that is faith and sexuality.

Why:

Culture wants to resolve conflict—we want to use our different communities’ filtration systems to elevate the conversation through the tension. Get past the stereotypes. Learn and practice what it means to live in unanswerable questions. Shift the paradigm away from a ‘fix it’ culture to one that turns hearts onto Christ amongst the most uncomfortable places.

Stay. Commit. Reconcile. Grow.

He was a Jewish carpenter and therefore I build bridges ©

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Synchroblog

A ministry in Canada, New Directions, has recently come out with a DVD called Bridging the Gap: Conversations on Befriending our Gay Neighbors. Today they are hosting a synchroblog, where about 60 bloggers/organizations are all speaking towards what it is to bridge the gap between the Church and the GLBT Community. They asked me to be a part of it, and I’m excited to help advance the dialogue.

Here is my contribution:

Question: I was recently asked by a large Christian magazine what if every Christian and every church bought into what I was saying—what will happen down the road; and what is the end goal to building a bridge?

My answer:

Here’s the exciting and scary part: I don’t know what it will look like because it’s never been done before, but what I do know, is that the Lord is showing us how to start this movement, and then sustain it for the long haul. Churches and Christians have been so concerned and paralyzed with the X, Y and Z; that they have never done A, B and C in the right way—the exact mission the Lord has placed on my heart through The Marin Foundation and my book Love is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community.

Let this story sink in:

A young and successful Christian businessman I know has the all the money he needs and all the looks to back up his skyrocketing career. He has a girlfriend whom he’s attracted to but sexually chaste with. However, he has one small secret that he has been keeping from everyone: the anonymous sex with other males behind his girlfriend’s back.

Over the past year he has gone to the altar at his church on three separate occasions during the service to ask his pastor for help. Each time the pastor promised to follow up with him and never did, leaving him more depressed as he continued to sink further and further away. It took a lot of guts for him to turn to The Marin Foundation and tell me his story after how he had been forgotten. When I told him that I wasn’t going to leave, that I would follow through and that I would help him however he needs to be helped, tears started to fill his eyes and he smiled.

I thought he was happy because he finally found someone he could trust. Boy was I wrong. He looked at me and said, “Do you know how many times I’ve heard that before? I’m only telling you all of this so my conscious is clear. God knows how many of his people have given up, or not tried at all.” With that he paid for his meal, got up, thanked me for my time and promptly left.

What just happened? I had never had anything like that happen to me before, and I was really mad. Who was that guy to think I was like all the others? He just used me as a means to feel better, like I was some type of confessional he needed to justify what he was doing emotionally and physically to himself and his girlfriend. I just wasted an hour of my time. I got up and headed out.

No more than two steps out of the door I realized something myself: Who was I to think that he would believe me when I said those things? That exact situation has happened to him three other times that I know of, by a person who he trusted for help. He didn’t want words, he didn’t want a feeling; he wanted me to follow through.

And so that is what I did. As soon as I got back to my desk I emailed and called him to let him know I meant what I said. It’s been almost a year since that first encounter and he’s on a tough journey right now. But it’s sure a lot easier when you know someone isn’t going to give up on you.

When it comes to same-sex sexual attractions and behaviors, Christians just give up too easy. Therefore above anything else when it comes to the GLBT community, the most important thing Christians can do is make a commitment for the long haul. Without a genuine commitment on the Christian’s part there can be, and will be nothing other then meaningless talk and niceties. I hear the same thing again and again from GLBT youth and adults: “I would have rather had Christians never enter my life than to continue entering in and then leaving. It does more harm than good.”

Just read that statement again. Only through a real commitment without knowing what’s going to happen, can believers take the first step to restoring a bridge with the GLBT community.

When I first immersed myself in the GLBT community I had no idea what I was doing or what good could ever come out of my decision. The only thing I did know was that I was in it for the long haul because in my mind, there was no turning back. God will always be faithful to our commitments if we can only be faithful to our own.

I know that committing to something that most of us know nothing about is not easy. When we are walking into an unknown we need assurance that there is hope to one day pull us through the times that we know will come, the times we know we can’t handle. God will fill in those gaps if only we solidify in ourselves the commitment to stay. Remember that God gives the growth, Jesus causes us to stand and it is our job to obey—because God doesn’t only work when we know what the outcome is going to be!

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Andrew Marin on theooze.tv

Enjoy this interview (Part 1) with author and creator of The Ooze and theooze.tv, Spencer Burke. Watching it back I forgot I got a little excited at the end. And if you know me, you know what I mean by excited!

Do you agree or disagree with anything I said?

Much love.

http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Andrew Marin Interviews Chris Heuertz (Part 2)

Here is Part 2 of my interview with Chris Heuertz, author and International Director of Word Made Flesh. In this segment I ask Chris two questions:

What would you tell the Church about building bridges with the gay and lesbian community

and

What would you tell the gay and lesbian community about the Church

His answers are moving.

You can also check out Word Made Flesh, Chris' book and other videos of Christ speaking here.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Andrew Marin Interviews Chris Heuertz (Part 1)

While I was in Omaha, NE last week I had the opportunity to hang out with a man that I respect with all of my heart and soul, Chris Heuertz, the International Director of Word Made Flesh - a non profit organization that incarnationally serves the poorest of the poor all over the world. Chris is the most humble man I know, and he is one of those people in this lifetime that you just feel privileged to sit at his feet and learn from his amazing life and experiences.

This first part of the interview I talk to Chris about Word Made Flesh, which you can link to here. I also talk to Chris about his book, Simple Spirituality, which you can buy here or here. And you can check out some other talks by Chris here.

PS - as I watched it back I realized I talked waaaay too much. I'm learning how to get used to being the interviewer instead of the interviewee. Sorry about that. :)

But seriously, I truly do love Chris and the Word Made Flesh team:

Word Made Flesh

Simple Spirituality

Much love.

http://www.themarinfoundation.org/