Love Is An Orientation

I'm Moving - New Blog Ready!

2009-08-13T13:09:00.003-05:00

Hello!

Here is some exciting news, I've got a new blog location:

www.loveisanorientation.com

I will no longer be posting at this location, so head on over to www.loveisanorientation.com and join in on the conversation! For those of you who subscribe to this blog, there is a new subscription button on the new site.

Blogger did me well, and now I'm over to this new site thanks to Adam McLane!!!!!!! He did the WHOLE THING!

See you at www.loveisanorientation.com!

Much love.
Andrew

Off the Grid

2009-08-10T22:14:00.003-05:00

Hello! Last night I returned from a recent 3 time-zone, 4 city, 11 day trip where I had the chance to speak to 4 churches, a college group at the University of Michigan, non-profit board of director retreat and a Christian 'Think Tank' about the recent trends of Christianity. It was an extremely productive trip throughout San Fransisco, the Bay Area and Ann Arbor, MI, not only with my speaking, but also because at The Marin Foundation we're trying to put together various coalition of GLBT organizations and churches to start doing bridge building work in their own local areas. We found a great receptiveness to this vision throughout this recent trip. I will obviously be writing more about it as these various coalitions start to formulate throughout the country, but for now be praying for leaders to rise up and make this a priority in their lives!

Also, the lack of blogging is due to working on a new site for my blog! I hope you'll love it when it's up and ready to roll!

While on the road I usually have a wonderful opportunity to think and pray. I have been chewing on a few new thoughts, and I'm really looking forward to start posting my back-logged mind. I'm sure we'll be getting into a lot of uncomfortable conversations soon, and yet even as I write that, I remind myself that immersion into uncomfortable places over a significant amount of time produces growth ... and we're all growing through this thing together.

:)

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

My Strange Last 48 Hours

2009-07-23T12:35:00.002-05:00

I had a bad interview. Then I had a good one.

I got hated on by a gay organization. Then I got hated on by a Christian one.

I received a couple offensive emails calling me names. Then I received a couple encouraging emails giving me hope.

I had a moving Living in the Tension gathering. Then I went home and cried.

I got hated on once again by the same gay organization and the same Christian organization.

I talked to some people who I trust my life with (Brenda, Dad, Richard and Wendy). Then I felt better.

I woke up this morning with a double ear infection. And also woke up to a few more hateful emails.

And then a few more encouraging ones.

Here’s one from someone I don’t know who just finished reading my book:

“You do not do this in vain. Know when the times get tough you have touched lives.”

Then I had a great talk with an editor at a magazine doing an article on my book, and then I prayed.

And I feel comforted in the FACT that I’m doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.

No matter what haters try to lie, cheat, complain or tear me down.

No matter what friends are too “worn out” by this difficult bridge building work and want to give up—because “it’s too hard” and now think “it can never happen” because it hasn’t happened quick enough for their satisfaction.

Give up then.

Because I won’t. And neither will God.

Because I’m trying to learn how to live and love in real time.

Not perfect.

Don’t have answers for everything.

And the sad part is that too many “intelligent” people from both ends won’t ever admit that as truth.

I am loved. I am me.

I am satisfied with who I represent and how I daily strive to represent Him.

The rest of them can keep on trying to dissect every word I say and use it against me.

But it doesn’t matter anymore.

Because He was a Jewish carpenter and therefore I build bridges. Period.

I don't care who in this world is satisfied with that answer or not; as there is One who is.

So keep on hatin’ me haters.

Because thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

And you all can’t dictate not even one ounce of that, no matter what you think you own.

Cause I’ll keep on lovin’ anyway.

Much love.
Andrew

http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Interview on Catholic Radio

2009-07-21T11:29:00.002-05:00

This afternoon at 2:20pm CST I’ll be a live guest on the Al Kresta Show. They describe themselves as:

Heard on over 120 stations and Sirius Satellite, Kresta in the Afternoon looks at all areas of life through the lens of Scripture and the teaching of the Catholic Church and takes on all comers. Over the years, Al has engaged in vigorous discussions or debates with nationally known figures from politics, the arts, the Church, academia and business such as Jack Kevorkian, Mother Angelica, Jesse Jackson, Carl Bernstein, John McCain, Gloria Steinem, Pat Buchanan, Scott Hahn, Donna Shalala, Judge Robert Bork, Richard Gephardt, Jerry Falwell, George McGovern, Steve Allen, Bowie Kuhn, Mrs. Anwar Sadat, Martin Luther King III, Cal Thomas, Avery Cardinal Dulles, Chuck Colson, Alan Dershowitz, Ken Starr, James Earl Ray, Mary Higgins Clark, and C. Everett Koop.

My goal is to keep it peaceful, as you know I’m not into “debates” … and I will stay peaceful no matter what. You can listen live here.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Interview on America's Most Listened to Christian Program

2009-07-20T13:45:00.002-05:00

I’m back from a WONDERFUL vacation (no Blackberry for 6 days was close to the best thing I’ve ever experienced!), and what a better way to be greeted back then by an interview on The Frank Pastore Show – America’s most listened to Christian radio program. I have been on air with Frank one other time, and it was one of the most intriguing and best segments I have ever done. Frank is a great host, asks great questions, and I’m looking forward to tonight. You can listen live here (click the Listen Live button at the very bottom of the page), or you can even call in and ask questions live as well, starting at 6:55pm CST.

Lots to talk about post-vacation, and I’m looking forward to catching up with all the comments while I was gone.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Off the Grid

2009-07-13T23:43:00.002-05:00

I’m going on vacation! The picture above is the resort where my wife and I will be staying. It’s our first vacation in almost two years, and it’s going to be awesome. So while I’m gone, underneath this post are four other new ones to keep the conversation rolling. I look forward to being with you again when I return.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 11 of 11

2009-07-13T23:39:00.002-05:00

Here is my final reflection from walking in the 2009 Chicago Gay Pride Parade and interviewing a variety of people who were all a part of that day as well.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Andrew Marin Interviewed by Read the Spirit

2009-07-13T23:36:00.000-05:00

While sitting in a hotel room in small town Iowa I was interviewed by journalist David Crumm. Here is the article from that interview.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

What is History?

2009-07-13T23:25:00.003-05:00

I was recently asked:

How do you think modern views of historiography have affected our ability to think theologically and ethically about our past and present experiences? Here is my answer:

Modern views of historiography, like most everything modern (or should I say postmodern?), are thoroughly rooted in a pluralistic secular movement of what it means to live in a post-Christian era. Sometimes I get shrieks when I say post-Christian, as most people look at Europe as the prime example of a post-Christian culture. Although I know the United States is currently not at the same place as Europe, I do have to bring up the point that Christianity is America is declining at the same time it’s rising in Europe.

My belief is that the “religion” of secularism is riding a way of the past four decades of poor Christian expressions of love and outreach. It’s the fifty-some year old secularists who are leading the charge against the validity of Christianity, and many of the more well known secularists were raised in the Church. After being bitten, excluded and poked at, in their mind it’s their turn now to turn the tables by forming their own movement—which has gained way more momentum than I personally ever thought I would see. Because of this, historiography within our era will forever be skewed away from anything we stand for because in many people’s minds (specifically the mainstream cultural influencers), Christendom’s time has passed.

The only way to recoup any of the Truth in history is for us to intentionally start loving in such a way that we become the come-as-you-are-culture we are supposed to be. This does not mean fight. This does not mean picket. This does not mean cause a stink. This means that if we can focus on the character of God and live out his commands to faithfully and exuberantly love all of his creations made in his image (and I mean all), years from now society will look back with their own version of historiography—one that looks nothing like the secularist version of today. What is this love that I talk about? It’s not a Universalist type of love where anything goes. It’s a Christ driven love that allows God to work on HIS timetable; not ours. No matter what the outcome. It’s a type of love where the Body of Christ intentionally seeks out those considered on the outside—and that does not mean go to Africa and help those who can’t help themselves (although that is good too). It means we go to our own communities, our own outcasts, our own neighbors who are in our everyday lives. It’s so hard because it’s so personal. Those starving babies in Africa don’t know you, won’t talk back to you and adore your every moment. Not the same with a grown American adult who has been burned by the Church at some point in their life.

It’s time to go out and move forward; and history depends on our actions today!

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Empire Carpet Theology

2009-07-13T23:18:00.004-05:00

Brenda and I are looking for new flooring (still deciding if we should put in hardwood or that cool shag-type carpet). Anyway, we called Empire Carpet and they had a super-sailor-foul-mouthed man come over. Among his ramblings of which I paid no attention, he saw that I had a lot of religious books on my bookshelf. And out of nowhere he said:

“Do you know what I think about living out your faith?”

In my head I said: Nope—don’t know and don’t necessarily want to know either if it is anything like what you have spewed out for the last hour. Instead I smiled and asked his thoughts. And out came a very unexpected profound statement! He said:

“My take is that there are four ways people live in death here on earth:

1. The obsessive need to look good

2. The obsessive need to be right

3. The obsessive need to avoid pain

and

4. The obsessive need to be in control”

And as soon as he was done telling Brenda and I his fully inspired and completely insightful and culturally relevant thoughts on living a stifled life in Christ, he went back to his old self—as if for one moment in time he was inspired by clarity.

I now refer to these four constructs as the Empire Carpet Theology.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

New Research Study

2009-07-10T08:49:00.001-05:00

Dr. Mark Yarhouse, Director of the Institute for the Study of Sexual Identity (ISS), is conducting a study of mixed orientation marriages, which are defined as a marriage where one individual experiences same sex attraction and the other does not.

The purpose of the study is to understand the characteristics of these marriages and the experiences of individuals in them. Participants can be currently in a mixed orientation marriage or have been previously. If you or someone you know fits this description and would like to share your experience, participants are needed! The survey can be accessed online by going to www.mixedorientationstudy.com. The study is completely anonymous and confidential; however, participants are given the option of sharing limited identifying information to participate in future follow-up studies if desired.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 10 of 11

2009-07-10T08:41:00.001-05:00

Short and to the point—this is officially the worst evangelism tool ever found on the face of the earth.

Sadness strikes me in great amounts hearing this gay man’s response.

Much love.www.themarinfoundation.org

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 9 of 11

2009-07-09T09:24:00.002-05:00

In this video I get yelled at and told I’m going to hell. The protestors thought I was gay. When I told them I wasn’t gay and went to a conservative seminary, I was still told I’m going to hell.

One thing to notice about half way through the video, the guy with the megaphone kept yelling:

“Sick, Sick, Sick”

Does that really work? Maybe it’s just me, but that does absolutely no good—for anyone.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 8 of 11

2009-07-09T08:06:00.002-05:00

So. Many. People. In this video I offer a little prayer for bridge builders amidst the opportunity to be involved.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 7 of 11

2009-07-08T12:53:00.001-05:00

In this clip I interview Nathan, a straight man who is walking in the Parade. And funny enough, he goes to an evangelical seminary in Chicago as well! One of the things that Nathan says is that he sometimes feels as though he is more loved by the GLBT community than he is by his seminary community. It’s strange for me that others have had the same experience as myself. As I say in my book:

"I have never met a more loving community in my life than the GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender) community. Obviously, there are exceptions in any community, but in general I've found that GLBT people don't care if you're skinny, hairy, fat, pimpled, a millionaire or dead broke; there is room for everyone."

Take out the GLBT part of that quote and you have the ideal definition of Christianity. Let this be a bold challenge.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 6 of 11

2009-07-07T09:56:00.001-05:00

Welcome to my neighborhood during it’s most famous hour. At the end of the clip I pray that I know the Lord loves this neighborhood. And he does. Many look upon Boystown and think God hates it in anger and judgment. I believe he loves it in broken compassion, yearning for those 1.2 million people and beyond at that Parade to come to know his love and transcending characteristics as the Creator he is; and all that is entailed with that relationship.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 5 of 11

2009-07-07T09:31:00.001-05:00

Many people (gay and straight) are confused by transgenders. Here’s our opportunity to learn from, and listen to a transgender female [defined as male to female] talk about her experiences growing up in the Catholic church. Towards the end she says something that I think we all need to hear:

I asked her if she thought the Church could have helped her out with her “demons” (as she put it), and her response was “no.” Experiences prove potent—especially with religion and personal demons. We’re losing thousands to the secular world because we’re not quite sure how to respond to a variety of topics.

So instead of trying to figure out how to respond, let’s figure out how to love—and the responses will be a natural outplay of our commitment to another.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 4 of 11

2009-07-06T12:22:00.001-05:00

In this video I interview a Mom and her son who are both walking in the Parade. I think the Mom says two very profound things:

1. Although she would group her own theological beliefs in a more liberal category, she said that she totally believes that someone can hold onto a conservative theological belief and still love in tangible ways that make a difference in GLBT peoples lives.

and

2. She thinks the problem in the culture war is not a theology “thing,” it’s a people “thing.”

My belief is that people’s actions are an outplay of their theology. In agreement with what the Mom said, no matter what the belief, the culture war can easily end because of what people do, not by convincing others of what they believe.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 3 of 11

2009-07-05T11:43:00.003-05:00

Here’s the back-story to this video:

This man was involved in a church and when he decided to tell leadership of his same-sex attractions they put him into therapy (not forcefully because he agreed to do so) and they put his works in the church on “probation” until he didn’t have same-sex attractions anymore. After trying and trying with no change in the attractions, he gladly left the church and now will not go anywhere unless the church, as he said, “are not concerned who he sleeps with.”

Another casualty we created because we didn’t know how to build Christ’s bridges in the right way.

His life now is on our heads for causing his current state. Why? Because he started with a traditional interpretation of Scripture and look where he’s at now because he “couldn’t succeed vs. his struggles”. Listen closely here for a second: if there is something we need to take from this interview, it’s that the Church needs to reorient its understanding of what a successful outcome looks like. If the only metric of success is to “be straight” then we’re not going to ever really be able to make a difference because what constitutes straight? Marriage? Children? What if the person is still gay and just wants an outside facade to blend in? Is that success then? Is success no more attractions to the same-sex, ever? What about unwanted fantasies that can't be overcome? What about gay Christians? What about celibacy? What about the replacement for intimacy if celibate? Where does that come from?

Too many questions and too few answers because many of us have never invested the time, effort and relationships into figuring it out because the majority Church is just concerned with one label: S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T.

Think about this, if not success, then the only other option is failure. And if success/fail are the only two options we offer (all the while not clearly defining the different shades of one’s journey along the way), we’re not caring enough to authentically enter into someone’s life story with them, now are we? It seems that the Church thinks the ends (being straight) justify the means (don’t care how you get there, just get there—and get there quick. And if it takes too long or done in the fashion deemed appropriate then you’re a failure). When my understanding of what it is to build a Christlike bridge with the GLBT community is the exact opposite (see Love is an Orientation, specifically pages 146-160).

His life is another unfortunate example of us keeping the GLBT community at arm’s length in the most horrific way:

Telling them we love them and want to be there with them throughout everything, and in deception setting up a structure of success and failure that the majority of the time equates to failure. What happens when someone fails, then?! Do we just let them go and not give a second thought because they weren’t successful enough???—well, we did with him and the majority is ok with that.

But it’s not ok with me and I hope it's not ok with you either.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 2 of 11

2009-07-03T08:55:00.001-05:00

This is the first interview I conducted at the Parade. As soon as I got there I saw a group of people wearing purple shirts with the transgender logo on them (you’ll see the logo in the video). None of the people in the shirts “looked” transgender, so I went up to them and asked what they were walking for. It turns out that they were parents who have transgender kids. Two of these parents were more than happy to be interviewed on camera, and here are their thoughts on two questions:

1. What would you like to say to the Church as a parent of a transgender kid

and

2. What can the Church do to tangibly serve your transgender kid?

Notice that when the dad is talking, he’s eyes are welling up because he’s fighting back some major tears. In talking to him off camera he got very emotional as this was his first parade—he’s just trying to learn to live and love amidst everything going on in his, and his child’s life.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 1 of 11

2009-07-02T09:59:00.002-05:00

I recorded this video from my condo after the parade, as a real-time summary of what you are going to see, feel and hear over the next two weeks as I post the remaining ten videos from my participation in the 2009 Gay Pride Parade in Chicago.

As I said in the video, this is a time to reflect as we take everyone’s words during the interviews as a legitimate expression of what each person’s experience has been, and where they are currently. My favorite slogan—right from the gate you can’t relate—and this is a huge step forward as we are able to place the GLBT community’s metric upon ourselves to know the boundaries of what it is to make significant things happen for the Kingdom.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Interesting Book Clubs on Love is an Orientation

2009-07-02T09:52:00.003-05:00

On the blogs, Not the Religious Type and Crossroads, they are both doing a book club on Love is an Orientation. Feel free to chime in if you’re interested!

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Andrew Marin on the Praxis Podcast

2009-06-29T17:09:00.003-05:00

Last week I had the privilege of being interviewed for the Praxis Podcast. I’m being dead honest when I say this:

It was the absolute most fun I’ve ever had on an interview!

DJ and Aaron (the hosts) kept it fun, laughable and serious all at the same time. It was a blast. I know you all with enjoy this … ESPECIALLY the last 17 minutes, which include 10 off the wall questions they asked me totally unrelated to homosexuality as well as the outtakes from the interview!

Listen to it here.

And while you’re on their site, take a listen to Professor Soong-Chan Rah talking about the white captivity of the Western church—it’s fascinating and controversial!

Hope you enjoy the fun!!!

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Andrew Marin on theooze.tv Part 2

2009-06-26T09:35:00.003-05:00

Here is Part 2 of my interview with Spencer Burke and theooze.tv. Instead of commenting here, go to this link and rate the interview and join in on the conversation - there are some polarizing views already posted. Let's show some folks what peaceful and productive bridge building conversations look like.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Living in the Tension (LITT) Community Gathering

2009-06-25T09:57:00.003-05:00

Each LITT will start at 7pm in Room 120 at 5255 N. Ashland Ave in Chicago. Here are the remaining dates and forum topics:

June 25: Gay Pride Parade: Original Intent and Current Purpose

July 22: I Do Exist—Ex Gay Viewing and Discussion

Aug 11: Discussion with a Gay Secular Person

Aug 27: Discussion with an Ex-Gay Person

Sep 17: Discussion with a Gay Christian

Oct 8: Secret Confessions (Oct 11th National Coming Out Day)

Nov 5: Gay Marriage

Nov 17: Discussion with a Straight Conservative Christian

Dec 3: Discussion with a Celibate Person

Dec 14: The Actual Argument

Here is a reminder of why The Marin Foundation hosts these discussions:

Purpose for Living in the Tension Community Gathering:

Christians need to start willfully planting themselves in the middle of some very uncomfortable places—making a conscious commitment to stay in that place with the GLBT community. In 1963 Martin Luther King Jr. was locked up in a jail in Birmingham, Alabama. In a letter to confront his fellow white clergymen, MLK reflected on his life’s work to that point and said: “I must confess that I am not afraid of the world tension. I have earnestly opposed violent tension my whole life, but there is a type of constructive, non-violent tension which is necessary for growth.”

I’m going to be real right now—the Christian community has been running from that constructive, non-violent tension for too long when it comes to gays and lesbians. The productive growth that MLK was talking about only comes retrospectively, after much time has been spent immersed in tension filled areas with what we are most uneasy about. Those tension-filled areas are dirty, uncomfortable, confusing, overbearing and uneasy. And they’re worth every minute for the kingdom we so boldly claim ourselves to be a part of.

Mission Statement:

For gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, ex-gay, celibate and straight (progressive and conservative) people to all willfully enter into a place of constructive tension, intentionally forming a community that peacefully and productively takes on the most divisive topics within the culture war that is faith and sexuality.

Why:

Culture wants to resolve conflict—we want to use our different communities’ filtration systems to elevate the conversation through the tension. Get past the stereotypes. Learn and practice what it means to live in unanswerable questions. Shift the paradigm away from a ‘fix it’ culture to one that turns hearts onto Christ amongst the most uncomfortable places.

Stay. Commit. Reconcile. Grow.

He was a Jewish carpenter and therefore I build bridges ©

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Synchroblog

2009-06-24T12:45:00.002-05:00

A ministry in Canada, New Directions, has recently come out with a DVD called Bridging the Gap: Conversations on Befriending our Gay Neighbors. Today they are hosting a synchroblog, where about 60 bloggers/organizations are all speaking towards what it is to bridge the gap between the Church and the GLBT Community. They asked me to be a part of it, and I’m excited to help advance the dialogue.

Here is my contribution:

Question: I was recently asked by a large Christian magazine what if every Christian and every church bought into what I was saying—what will happen down the road; and what is the end goal to building a bridge?

My answer:

Here’s the exciting and scary part: I don’t know what it will look like because it’s never been done before, but what I do know, is that the Lord is showing us how to start this movement, and then sustain it for the long haul. Churches and Christians have been so concerned and paralyzed with the X, Y and Z; that they have never done A, B and C in the right way—the exact mission the Lord has placed on my heart through The Marin Foundation and my book Love is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community.

Let this story sink in:

A young and successful Christian businessman I know has the all the money he needs and all the looks to back up his skyrocketing career. He has a girlfriend whom he’s attracted to but sexually chaste with. However, he has one small secret that he has been keeping from everyone: the anonymous sex with other males behind his girlfriend’s back.

Over the past year he has gone to the altar at his church on three separate occasions during the service to ask his pastor for help. Each time the pastor promised to follow up with him and never did, leaving him more depressed as he continued to sink further and further away. It took a lot of guts for him to turn to The Marin Foundation and tell me his story after how he had been forgotten. When I told him that I wasn’t going to leave, that I would follow through and that I would help him however he needs to be helped, tears started to fill his eyes and he smiled.

I thought he was happy because he finally found someone he could trust. Boy was I wrong. He looked at me and said, “Do you know how many times I’ve heard that before? I’m only telling you all of this so my conscious is clear. God knows how many of his people have given up, or not tried at all.” With that he paid for his meal, got up, thanked me for my time and promptly left.

What just happened? I had never had anything like that happen to me before, and I was really mad. Who was that guy to think I was like all the others? He just used me as a means to feel better, like I was some type of confessional he needed to justify what he was doing emotionally and physically to himself and his girlfriend. I just wasted an hour of my time. I got up and headed out.

No more than two steps out of the door I realized something myself: Who was I to think that he would believe me when I said those things? That exact situation has happened to him three other times that I know of, by a person who he trusted for help. He didn’t want words, he didn’t want a feeling; he wanted me to follow through.

And so that is what I did. As soon as I got back to my desk I emailed and called him to let him know I meant what I said. It’s been almost a year since that first encounter and he’s on a tough journey right now. But it’s sure a lot easier when you know someone isn’t going to give up on you.

When it comes to same-sex sexual attractions and behaviors, Christians just give up too easy. Therefore above anything else when it comes to the GLBT community, the most important thing Christians can do is make a commitment for the long haul. Without a genuine commitment on the Christian’s part there can be, and will be nothing other then meaningless talk and niceties. I hear the same thing again and again from GLBT youth and adults: “I would have rather had Christians never enter my life than to continue entering in and then leaving. It does more harm than good.”

Just read that statement again. Only through a real commitment without knowing what’s going to happen, can believers take the first step to restoring a bridge with the GLBT community.

When I first immersed myself in the GLBT community I had no idea what I was doing or what good could ever come out of my decision. The only thing I did know was that I was in it for the long haul because in my mind, there was no turning back. God will always be faithful to our commitments if we can only be faithful to our own.

I know that committing to something that most of us know nothing about is not easy. When we are walking into an unknown we need assurance that there is hope to one day pull us through the times that we know will come, the times we know we can’t handle. God will fill in those gaps if only we solidify in ourselves the commitment to stay. Remember that God gives the growth, Jesus causes us to stand and it is our job to obey—because God doesn’t only work when we know what the outcome is going to be!

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Andrew Marin on theooze.tv

2009-06-23T22:09:00.005-05:00

Enjoy this interview (Part 1) with author and creator of The Ooze and theooze.tv, Spencer Burke. Watching it back I forgot I got a little excited at the end. And if you know me, you know what I mean by excited!

Do you agree or disagree with anything I said?

Much love.

http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Andrew Marin Interviews Chris Heuertz (Part 2)

2009-06-22T15:59:00.003-05:00

Here is Part 2 of my interview with Chris Heuertz, author and International Director of Word Made Flesh. In this segment I ask Chris two questions:

What would you tell the Church about building bridges with the gay and lesbian community

and

What would you tell the gay and lesbian community about the Church

His answers are moving.

You can also check out Word Made Flesh, Chris' book and other videos of Christ speaking here.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Andrew Marin Interviews Chris Heuertz (Part 1)

2009-06-22T15:40:00.003-05:00

While I was in Omaha, NE last week I had the opportunity to hang out with a man that I respect with all of my heart and soul, Chris Heuertz, the International Director of Word Made Flesh - a non profit organization that incarnationally serves the poorest of the poor all over the world. Chris is the most humble man I know, and he is one of those people in this lifetime that you just feel privileged to sit at his feet and learn from his amazing life and experiences.

This first part of the interview I talk to Chris about Word Made Flesh, which you can link to here. I also talk to Chris about his book, Simple Spirituality, which you can buy here or here. And you can check out some other talks by Chris here.

PS - as I watched it back I realized I talked waaaay too much. I'm learning how to get used to being the interviewer instead of the interviewee. Sorry about that. :)

But seriously, I truly do love Chris and the Word Made Flesh team:

Word Made Flesh

Simple Spirituality

Much love.

http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

An Ode to my Dad on Father's Day

2009-06-21T09:52:00.002-05:00

This scene is from one of my favorite movies of all time: Austin Powers Goldmember! Thanks for being my Dad, Dad. You will forever be my Fazzah ... oh, I mean my F-A-T-H-E-R.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

2nd Printing of Love is an Orientation

2009-06-18T10:19:00.003-05:00

I just found out yesterday that Love is an Orientation is going into its second printing after only a month and a half! That's really quick ...

Let's keep this movement's momentum accelerating forward so much so that neither community would be able to ignore our new paradigms of what it means to peacefully and productively build bridges with each other in order to end the culture war and still do significant things for the Kingdom!

Here are some links to send to people, or have them stop in their local Barnes & Noble or Borders:

Barnes & Noble ($12 or $10.80 if member): http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Love-Is-an-Orientation/Andrew-Marin/e/9780830836260/?itm=1

Borders ($15): http://www.borders.com/online/store/TitleDetail?type=1&catalogId=10001&simple=1&defaultSearchView=List&keyword=love+is+an+orientation&LogData=%5Bsearch%3A+30%2Cparse%3A+44%5D&searchData=%7BproductId%3Anull%2Csku%3Anull%2Ctype%3A1%2Csort%3Anull%2CcurrPage%3A1%2CresultsPerPage%3A25%2CsimpleSearch%3Atrue%2Cnavigation%3A5185%2CmoreValue%3Anull%2CcoverView%3Afalse%2Curl%3Arpp%3D25%26view%3D2%26type%3D1%26nav%3D5185%26simple%3Dtrue%26book_search%3Dlove%2Bis%2Ban%2Borientation%2Cterms%3A%7Bbook_search%3Dlove+is+an+orientation%7D%7D&storeId=13551&sku=0830836268&ddkey=http:SearchResults

Amazon ($10.20): http://www.amazon.com/Love-Orientation-Elevating-Conversation-Community/dp/0830836268/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1245339100&sr=8-1

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Other Faith's Love Love

2009-06-17T16:42:00.002-05:00

I have been touched recently by the amount of non-evangelical, even non-Christian people that have read Love is an Orientation and thought it worthwhile enough to personally write me. I have received numerous emails telling me of touching stories and examples of how my book has made a direct impact on people’s sphere’s of influence; shaking their traditional paradigms of engagement and actually doing something to intentionally start building bridges. I have been printing these emails and hanging them on my wall in my office to give me a constant reminder of why I am pounding my head against a brick wall of oppression day after day. But as one of my friends clarified,

“Andrew, if you keep hitting your head against a brick wall, one day the wall will break!”

So hit away I will…

There were two public reviews I have recently seen that really caught my attention because one is from a Muslim and the other is from a gay Anabaptist.

Here is the review of my book from a Muslim, Afdhere Jama, who is the author of the book Illegal Citizens: Queer Lives in the Muslim World. He also edits Huriyah, a bilingual (arabic in paper, english online) GLBT Muslim magazine.

Wow. Humbled. Overwhelmed. That's all I can say about that.

And this link is from the Young Anabaptist Radicals blog (I made a comment on this post). Again, I am in total amazement how the Lord is using the book to cross cultural and religious boundaries!

If you’ve seen any cool reviews, hit me up because I’d love to read them as well.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

2009-06-13T15:12:00.007-05:00

[Addendum on June 16, 2009: Do you ever find yourself being labled into a socially constructed group because someone on the outside doesn't understand you? I tackle this question in my own life after the last two conservative evangelical radio interviews have called me Emergent for no other reason than I live within, and loves me some GLBT folks.]

Am I Emergent? I tackle this question in 4 minutes and 33 seconds after I have been called Emergent by two of the last three conservative evangelical radio hosts I have been on with. This clip is not me speaking against Emergent, but rather about the indictment of evangelicalism surrounding homosexuality and the life I live.

What are your thoughts on Emergent? Conservativism? None of the above? Love to hear you thoughts on this whole thing.

Much love.

http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Los Angeles Radio

2009-06-09T18:17:00.002-05:00

Tonight from 7:30-8pm CST I will be a guest on the Frank Pastore Show in Los Angeles. You can tune in here.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Oh How the Tides Turn

2009-06-06T02:16:00.003-05:00

Oh how the tides so quickly turn. Could the gay community actually be upset at the one man that was to be the hope for a better future? The one man whom the gay community fought so diligently to get elected? The one man who promised so many things to the gay community and is now backing down from every single one of them …

The answers to those questions are yes, yes, and yes again. And a few very influential gay organizations are wearing thin on Obama’s stale (would they even go so far as to say “Republican”?!?!?) rhetoric around GLBT issues. As a friend of mine who works for a well known gay political organization told me:

“Obama, you can talk all you want about “declaring June our month” and how much respect you have for us, but your talk is what got you elected. It’s time to show you’re different than everyone who came before you because your talk isn’t getting you anywhere anymore.”

Such the tangled (and bandwagon hopping on and off) web we continually weave…

Looks like the thoughts in my book about living in a "false model of the ideal situation" go much further than the culture war that is conservativism and homosexuality. It's almost comical in a very sad, structural mindset type-of-way because the system is set up to perpetuate these mirage ideals of best existences. And still no one learns that no matter what, there is no best existence because the system is faulty in its construction of what is deemed worthy of legitimazation.

Interesting article from Politico that I saw highlighted on CNN.

What are your thoughts about the gay community turning on Obama?

What are you thoughts on my thesis of 'mirage ideals of a best existence'?

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Andrew Marin talking to TV Host Kelly Morgan

2009-06-05T11:18:00.003-05:00

This video was taken minutes ago in the green room of Harvest TV's studios after taping 2 segments for their program. The host I am talking to is Kelly Morgan - I love her to death. She gets it, asked wonderful questions during the interviews and her family lives in the tension everyday as her two kids (one in majoring in it in college and one younger in middle school) are both involved in theater and production. Her heart was honest and I really appriciated her stepping out to have me on their program.

And PS - is there anything that motivates weight loss more than looking at how many chins you have?! Wow.

Seriously though, tell me what you want to see and hear through these videos so I can keep it fresh and relevant!

Much love.

http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

New Flip Camera Experiment

2009-06-04T20:20:00.003-05:00

As you can see by my 'mug' looking at you in this video, I just bought a Flip Camera to start recording short bites of my life within this unique bridge building experience that the Lord has laid before us. I hope you enjoy this new way of interacting along side my written posts as well!

Tell me, what types of things would you all love to see through these videos as I move forward in this fun experiment?

Much love.

http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Why God Doesn't Answer Prayers

2009-06-02T21:06:00.003-05:00

This is a question that has been on my heart a lot recently for a few different reasons. I have prayed for many things in my life that have not been answered—some of which are theologically important to me:

Why am I me and given the inherent right that comes with being a straight, white male; opposed to all others in socially constructed minority groups by race, sex, disability or health?

And some of those prayers which are more earthly:

That my book will sell 500,000 copies because the Lord’s bridge building work within the GLBT community would be out there so much that no one could ignore it anymore,

and

Lord, you have trusted me in running The Marin Foundation with very few financial resources for so long, in all of which that I feel I have been a great steward of those sparse finances, that it is totally ok to start trusting me with more!

And when it comes to sexuality and same-sex attractions, why does God answer some people’s prayers and not others? I have met very few people who, when first realizing their same-sex attraction, did not pray to God to take those attractions away so as to have an easier life in a way that aligns with a traditional interpretation of Scripture. Because let’s be honest, who would choose a same-sex attraction and the potential life (celibacy or being ‘out’) that comes with it? If you think about it, when someone has a same-sex attraction, whether they act on it or not, are automatically cast as deviant to mainline Christianity. What a heavy responsibility to steward. What haunts me though is how I can just be me, do nothing to counteract my God-given characteristics and get married, have a family, and without a second thought be looked at within mainstream as acceptable before God in my inherent qualities that I did nothing to attain? It’s a question that pains me because I’ll never know the answer.

In going a step further; why does God answer some people’s prayers who seek to “overcome” their same-sex attraction and not others?

In my book I detail a story of a friend of mine who was student body president of a major evangelical university who hid his same-sex attractions for 17 years as he prayed and worked everyday for God to take those attractions away. Yet why does God answer other’s prayers for the same thing but not his, causing him to believe one of two things must be true:

1. Either there is no God because He won’t answer the one prayer he prays

Or

2. There is a God and he’s just condemned to hell anyway because of the attractions he knows not where they came from

The problem is that evangelicals find it easy to come up with excusal answers:

“Because he didn’t pray enough…”
“Because he doesn’t have enough faith…” (this one was actually told to me by a radio host on air last week)
“Because he’s not really Christian and not praying to the God of transformation…”

You name it: I, and they, have heard it.

But I just don’t believe in those faultily constructed “releasing-of-responsibility-blood-off-my-head” excuses that do nothing other than put an even wider unemotional arm’s length gap between our conservative believe system and the gay community. Uttering and crying out to the name of El Shaddai, the Almighty and Yeshua are the same for everyone—God hears them all, all the time.

The most over utilized Christian-eze response is to the bigger question is:

“You can’t see it now but God will somehow use this unanswered prayer for good.”

Theologically correct, yes. But that doesn’t bring help or comfort one ounce when someone is in the midst of whatever they’re going through, feeling like their cries for help just slowly drift off into eternal space. In 2006 when I was receiving death threats in the mail after being attacked and lied about in the national media, my brothers and sisters in the faith kept repeating that phrase to me, almost as if it was told to me enough I’d just start to believe it despite my negatively encompassing situation; pleading with God why He would allow this to happen. There is a difference between reason and application. Just because something is rationally correct doesn’t mean its application can be implemented, easy or not, no matter how “right” it might be. Just the same, straight Christians rattle off that common phrase to GLBT folks. There is nothing worse then when your most earnest prayer is not answered, especially when it comes to life experiences that can’t ever be taken back. So how are we supposed to handle these difficult prayers that go unanswered?

I was reading Christian Theology by Millard Erickson and I came across this great explanation on p. 301-302:

“God’s transcendence over time has been likened to a person who sits on a steeple while he watches a parade. He sees all parts of the parade at the different points on the route rather than only what is going past him at the moment. He is aware of what is passing each point of the route. So God also is aware of what is happening, has happened, and will happen at each point in time, yet at any given point within time he is also conscious of the distinction between what is now occurring, what has been, and what will be…God has access to all information. So his judgments are made wisely. He sees all things in their proper perspective; thus he does not give anything a higher or lower value than it out to have. One can therefore pray confidently, knowing that God will not grant something that is not good. Even though we are not wise enough to see all of the facts, or the results to which our ideas or planned actions may lead, we can trust God to know what is best.”

Here is the Andrew Marin synthesis to that paragraph:

God is inherently good because He is a supreme being that knows all and is in all. So our unanswered prayers are not due to a lack of faith.

Not due to a wrongly formatted prayer.

Not due to God not hearing our deepest cries.

They are because God is a good steward of our faith and life as a whole, such that unanswered prayers are not a negative, but rather an opportunity to experientially continue to live out an active faith amidst and through the missing answers because God’s love for us is always best—and the best in most cases goes unanswered in the areas that we long for answers the most! Why? Because what we long for the most is usually the one thing that has taken over priority in our lives and become our identity.

This realization is what an honest, non-Western-non-consumer-non-seeker-friendly faith is all about. God never promised to answer our prayers, He promised to wholistically always give us what is best for the faith journey of our existence from day one to death bed according to what He sees best. And it brings me peace to cognitively realize that unanswered prayers cannot just be succinctly put into pop-cultured theology, but they are actually as great as those prayers that are answered because God’s best is an opportunity to live out His eternal answer in real time—in either an answered or unanswered fashion.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

On Prime Time Chicago this Afternoon

2009-06-01T14:25:00.004-05:00

From 3-4pm CST I'll be a live in-studio guest on the show Prime Time Chicago. Have any questions, feel free to call in. Click here to listen live and/or call.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

The Culture War

2009-05-27T11:12:00.001-05:00

Part of my job is to be aware of, and keep a close eye on everything that is going on around the country within GLBT circles as well as within conservative circles. Because of this I am signed up to a lot of listservs from very well known, very polarizing organizations on both ends of the spectrum. With that in mind I’ve noticed a specific trend recently in the listserv emails:

Each community is pleading, and strongly urging their people to get involved to win the culture war against the other community.

I started to realize something—this is the difference between a bridge builder and a dime-a-dozen culture warrior who blindly fights because they are told to:

Bridge builders want to end the culture war in peaceful and productive ways through eternal principles that draw us to God, and to each other.

Dime-a-dozen culture warriors want to win the culture war by turning to external, socially constructed tools for validation and legitimization within mainstream circles [mainstream secular and mainstream religious].

Which place do you find yourself in this culture war? And which place do you see yourself needing to be, and why?

Let’s discuss….

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Love is an Orientation on Kindle

2009-05-22T18:07:00.002-05:00

I just found out that my book will be coming out soon on Kindle. InterVarsity Press has heeded the many requests—ask and you shall receive.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Live Interview on WMBI Friday Morning

2009-05-21T18:33:00.002-05:00

I will be on the Mornings with Mark radio show from Moody Radio for 1 hour, taking live calls, on Friday morning starting at 7:10am CST. Click here, and the Listen Live button is in the upper left hand corner.

Have a question? Chime in.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Please Forgive Me, My Blogging Homies!

2009-05-21T18:04:00.000-05:00

It has been quite a doozie of a past week. As I try to learn boundaries (which I’m obviously not too good at) in what to say yes to (which I’m very good at), and what to say no to (which needs great improvement), all of my free time recently has been spent sleeping and not blogging.

I’m wearing myself ragged, and I’ve not-so-subtly realized that I can’t keep this up—hence all of the extra sleep when it’s possible. But starting on Tuesday I will be resuming my daily week-day blog posts.

Thanks for hanging in there with me!

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

I'm Speaking at a Gay Bar Tonight

2009-05-14T12:44:00.004-05:00

Tonight will be quite a night for us all. I’ll be speaking at a gathering called Elements, and they are hosting it at Roscoes—a well known gay bar in Chicago. Elements is an evangelical Christian organization who seeks to live life differently, in the places regular evangelical folks don’t tend to ever go. They bring in one controversial speaker a month, and hold the event in a controversial place that aligns with the speaker’s topic. So here we’ll be tonight at a gay bar, mixing up straight evangelicals with Roscoes normal GLBT patrons (and we can’t forget all of the folks from the different shades of faith and sexuality from The Marin Foundation who will be in attendance as well).

It will be a very exciting time and I pray the Lord uses this as a launching pad for other great connections to make significant bridges for the Kingdom. If you’re in Chicago, please feel free to come and by and experience an unforgettable night of productive dialogue!

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Pray for Me

2009-05-13T17:49:00.003-05:00

Yes, I’m running. I’m running fast and furious and the Lord is taking me where He needs me to go even though I haven’t found a time to breathe quite yet. As you can see on my schedule to the left, from May 11-May 24 I have 13 speaking events in 14 days. This is not a complaint, this is a request for prayer for my strength, courage and awareness to be able to be bold enough to each day enthusiastically preach and teach what the Lord has given me to challenge the GLBT and conservative communities to live countercultural to mainstream (secular and religious!).

I have found that talking about such a hostile subject to large crowds lends itself to some ‘unique’ experiences, stories and lives that have been dramatically affected by the pervasive culture war. This can be very, very draining day in and day out as I want to give, and do nothing less than share in that pain, hurt or excitement as much as I am humanly able. I have come to realize that I need much more strength than I am able to muster through periods like this one. So please lift up these times on my behalf. Although even after May 24, it doesn’t slow down all that much, but at least I’ll have a day off more regularly. Praise the Lord in all things!

Thank you for all of your love, support and prayers.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Neue Podcast Part II

2009-05-13T16:22:00.003-05:00

This is Part II of Relevant Magazine’s Neue Podcast that I did.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Radio Interview this Afternoon

2009-05-13T12:31:00.000-05:00

Today I’ll be a guest (live call-in segment) on the Bob Dutko Show from 1:35-2:05pm CST, Detroit’s #1 Christian radio show.

If you want to ask me any questions live on air, feel free to call in.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Reconciliation/Off the Grid

2009-05-05T12:21:00.001-05:00

I leave tonight to go to Jackson, Mississippi to be with the Christian Community Development Association (CCDA) board of directors for their new project: Emerging Leader’s Initiative. Yes, that’s a mouthful. But it’s also an awesome opportunity as I was one of only a few hand-picked young leaders throughout the country to be involved with some of the heavy-hitters of urban life and ministry:

John Perkins
Wayne Gordon
Ray Bakke
Bob Lupton
Shane Claiborne
Among many others…

CCDA’s structure is based off of Dr. John Perkins 3Rs: Relocation (move into the neighborhood), Reconciliation (level the disconnect) and Redistribution (raise up new indigenous leadership). And those are all things that I take very seriously in my life, and try to model each day.

With this in mind I want to leave us with some words on Reconciliation from Dr. Perkins from his book, With Justice For All. I truly look forward to spending the next four days with these proven leaders—leaders who created a movement that has sustained the test of time. Something I can only hope God continues to foster through The Marin Foundation.

The only purpose of the gospel is to reconcile people to God and to each other. A gospel that doesn’t reconcile is not a Christian gospel at all. But in America it seems as if we don’t believe that. We don’t really believe that the proof of our discipleship is that we love one another (see John 13:35)…

To be reconciled to each other, then, we must bear the burdens created by each other’s pasts. And to be reconcilers in the world, to bring others together, we must bear the burdens of both the parties we seek to reconcile…

We must be reconciled to both God and man. The gospel’s first work is to reconcile us to God (2 Cor. 5:18), then, if our relationship with God is right, it will show up in our relationships with each other (1 John 4:20). For my worship to be acceptable to God, I must be reconciled to my brother (Matthew 5:23-24). To be reconciled to my brother I must first be reconciled to God; to remain reconciled to God I must be reconciled to my brother. I cannot have one without the other…

If the purpose of the gospel is to reconcile us to God and to our fellowman, if your mission is to be God’s ambassadors of reconciliation (see 2 Cor. 5:20), how do we fulfill that mission? It’s tempting for us to start out with a list of things to do. But that is not how the world of reconciliation begins. Before we can do the world of God, we must be the people of God—the believing fellowship, the Body of Christ. We cannot achieve Christ’s mission each working alone; we must work as a Body, each one exercising their spiritual gifts as a part of the whole. The believing fellowship must be a living demonstration of the love that God gives us for one another. Our invitation to others then becomes, “Come join us in this fellowship which we have with each other and with God” (see 1 John 1:3). Before we can invite others to join our fellowship, we must have a fellowship. So before we can do the work of the church, we must be the church.

To do the work of reconciliation, then, we must begin by being a reconciled fellowship, by being the Body of Christ. We must model the kind of relationships into which we want to invite others. Our love for each other gives credibility and power to our witness. We must begin by being. Being, though, is not complete until it results in doing. As James says, “Faith, if it has no works, it’s dead”. A faith that doesn’t express itself in works is not a true faith. Now that’s good, but it’s not enough. It’s not enough to just be a reconciled fellowship, though that is where we have to start. We must be a reconciled fellowship on a mission. And our mission is to bring others into fellowship with God and with us.

And many of the people in the Christian community movement seem to lack this vision. They love each other, yet they lack this drive to take the gospel to unbelievers, inviting them to join the fellowship… (excerpts from pp. 116-146).

The problem with the culture war that is GLBT vs. conservative Christianity, is that the word reconciliation has become distorted to mean something it is not. I’ll leave it there as I will be expanding on this, and other lingual distortions (and how to fix them) within the culture war starting next week.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

The Most Humbling Review Yet

2009-05-04T13:21:00.005-05:00

I sit here typing this crying. Yes, I cry. A lot. My life has been full of raw emotions these past few weeks with the unique juxtaposition I have been living recently. I have dumped my life out in words for people to read, re-read and then re-read again. Looking. Studying. Dissecting each word to see where it fits in the socially constructed boxes that pervasively label the culture war that is the GLBT community and evangelicalism. From those mythical labels come cultural perceptions which somehow morph into fact that release commentary and solidified opinions on your life's experiences - good or bad. Especially on this topic. I daily wake up humbled, and quite scared because I never expected any of this, I just wanted to follow what the Lord laid before me. And yet there is still so much uncertainty as I continue in contemplation to make sure I'm on solid footing in God's eyes as I move forward with this new voice that has been given to me. All of that to say I think my emotional build-up just got pushed over the edge. Give me 10 or so minutes and maybe I'll stop bawling about what I just read.

This review is the most soul crushing review I’ve read to date on my book. I’m not talking about “soul crushing” because it’s bad—I’m talking about “soul crushing” because someone dared to write what he did. It comes from the world famous Internet Monk, whose blog is consistently ranked in the Top 5 most read Christian blogs in the world, and he just took everything to a whole new level.

Praise be to God for His will to push this thing forward:

Barukh attah adonai

(Hebrew for 'Blessed are you, O Lord' - to be recited throughout the day in all things good or bad, because in all things, even our own breathe is a privilege given to us by our Holy Lord).

And that is what keeps me going.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Mentioned in the Dallas Morning News

2009-05-03T22:45:00.002-05:00

The religion writer for the Dallas Morning News—Dallas’ largest newspaper—quoted a portion of Love is an Orientation, using it for the paper’s ‘Quote of the Day’ segment.

You can view it on their website here.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Weigh-in #4 and Upcoming Blog Series

2009-05-01T18:57:00.000-05:00

Current Weight: 248.5 lbs.

Weight loss since last weigh-in: 1.5 lbs.

Total weight loss thus far: 11 lbs.

I haven’t weighed under 250 lbs. since May 2008—that’s exactly one year ago! Sweet. I’ll be weighing myself in again on Monday May 25th.

Also my next mini-series on the blog, starting with my next post, will be about the language in this culture war that drives each community further apart, and keeps us talking past each other instead of to each other.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Last Minute Radio Interview Tonight

2009-04-29T15:35:00.002-05:00

I just got a last minute call about being a guest tonight on the Direct Line radio show with Wayne Kent. It’s a live call-in show, and I’ll be on talking about gay marriage from 5:15-5:45pm. This show is broadcast in a rural market, so pray for my time tonight as I get asked questions about such a divisive topic in the Christian world.

I haven’t yet been able to find a direct website for them so you can listen live this evening, but I’ll keep looking and keep you posted on any new developments I scrape up (or find if it's archived somewhere).

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

2009-04-28T12:29:00.002-05:00

On Wed, April 29th at 8am CST I will be interview on the UK's largest Christian radio station. The 20 minute interview will be taped, and then rebroadcasted on the show Premier Drive. It looks as though after it airs, they will put a podcast of it on their website. Please pray that the Lord lifts up this time and the word of our bridge building work spreads across the UK as well.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

My New Painting

2009-04-28T12:00:00.009-05:00

This is a painting that I commissioned Scott Erickson, an artist friend of mine, to paint. Scott has painted in some huge venues to some really big time people, so this is a big honor for me. This painting is a deconstructed cross with the following words overlaid:

Love
Bridge Building
Unconditional
Faith
Sexuality
Culture
Tension
Immersion
GLBT
Listen
James 2:10
Matthew 7:1-2
Romans 5:3-4

This paining is so very special to me because of how profoundly personal it is to what the Lord has given me. It's now proudly displayed in my office for all to see. Scott's a great guy, a special talent, and a wonderful person. If you're interested in Scott and his work (especially if you'd like to commission him to paint a one-of-a-kind piece for you too), hit him up on Facebook, Twitter or his website.

Much love.

http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Pictures of the new The Marin Foundation Offices

2009-04-27T10:55:00.011-05:00

There have been some very new and very humbling things happening recently. One of which has been the full donation to The Marin Foundation of a substantial amount of office/class space! We just moved in a week and a half ago (and when you look at the pictures you'll see we haven't decorated yet), and it's been unreal to have an actual private space that is ours! Here are some pictures, with descriptions below each picture:

(This is our private entrance. A sign is coming soon...)

(This is our conference/class space)

(Standing at my personal office door looking in)

(My desk...and if you've read my book you'll understand what the picutre frame on top of the desk is all about...)

The Marin Foundation

5241 N. Ashland Ave. 1st Floor

Chicago, IL 60640

Much love.

http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Recent Mentions of Love is an Orientation

2009-04-24T14:11:00.002-05:00

Here are some recent mentions of Love is an Orientation:

1. It was brought to my attention yesterday that on Jim Wallis’ blog, God’s Politics, Brian McLaren wrote a post mentioning myself and Love is an Orientation (the same post also later showed up on Brian’s blog as well). I am much appreciative, but then in reading the comments section below the post on God’s Politics, I come to realize how much a bridge building ethic is actually needed.

Let’s keep plugging away.

2. Here is a blog post by Danielle Strickland—who is the head of the Salvation Army in Australia. Who knew someone in Australia was reading my book, let alone the head of the Salvation Army on the other side of the world? Praise the Lord.

3. Here is an email The Marin Foundation just received about the book:

“I Have spent the past three days reading the new book: twice! Excellent, thoughtful & thought-provoking, inspiring, frustrating, at times overwhelming, exhilarating, scary, hopeful. And I need a third reading to take notes before I can digest it more! For now, thank you for all the possibilities that you are bringing to this subject. I saw myself throughout the pages of the book: 54 years old, Christian believer, gay, graduated from a Christian college, attended groups for many years in many different places, and I still feel caught in some kind of limbo land between worlds. I have read all the other books on this subject. Your book is a bridge, yes.
Thank you Sincerely!”

This is such a humbling experience. Thanks for sharing it with me through my blog!

If you have any thoughts or know of people reviewing or talking about Love is an Orientation, please feel free to let me know!

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

3 Very Special Moments

2009-04-22T10:17:00.002-05:00

There are a few times in life where your heart is truly touched—and here are three of them that have happened recently that not only brought me to tears, but gave me some encouraging perspective on what I’m actually doing through The Marin Foundation.

1. A year and a half ago a guy wrote a really nasty blog post about me—he didn’t know me, he never talked to me and never came to anything I’ve ever done. And then yesterday I saw these words posted by him on the Neue Podcast comment section:

Andrew Marin has a very non-judgmental spirit and I appreciate what he is doing to reach out to what the church often wrongly considers “untouchables”.

I wrote a blog post a couple years ago on Marin’s ministry and had negative things to say. He commented on it, and after prayer and research, I apologize for slandering his ministry. God Bless.

Kurt

2. I recently received a Facebook message from a person who is a Campus Pastor in Philadelphia that said:

Just thought I would let you know...some of our students from the Christian fellowship on campus are reaching out to the GLBT Pride group this week. It is a first step hang out game night. It is a direct result of them coming to your talk at Jubilee Conference about how to build bridges on college campuses. Thank you.

3. There is a team of pastors from North Carolina who have flown in for three days to learn from what The Marin Foundation is doing in hopes they can better build bridges to their own local community in Raleigh. They came to the Living in the Tension Community Gathering last night, I will meet with them all day today and then they are all going to my speaking event tonight at Willow Creek (which is open to the public and starts at 8pm - at the Barrington campus).

This is the first time anything like this has happened, and it’s such a humbling thing to realize that what you’re doing, other people see important enough to take time to fly out and be a part of it themselves. This is an honor that will stick with me for a long, long time.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Tonight's Living in the Tension Gathering

2009-04-21T16:10:00.003-05:00

Tonight is our forth Living in the Tension Community Gathering. In remembrance of last Friday’s Day of Silence, we will be discussing the topic of:

Shame in the Closet and its Impact in All Our Lives

Feel free to join us tonight at 5249 N. Ashland Ave, Room 120 at 7pm.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Review Love Is An Orientation on Amazon

2009-04-21T09:09:00.003-05:00

I was told by my publicists that one of the next important steps for my book is for people to start reviewing Love Is An Orientation on my book’s Amazon page (scroll down towards the bottom of the page and click, Create Your Own Review). The first thing that came to my mind was,

Why?

The next thing that came to my mind was,

And who cares anyway?

Since I sometimes have no filter from brain to mouth I immediately asked those two things. And I loved their explanations:

Because your book is so different, many people who don’t know you will assume it’s the same old stuff repackaged with a new name and cover. The easiest and most efficient way for people who don’t know you to start understanding your uniqueness is to read other’s words and thoughts who have already read your book.

That makes total sense to me. So if you’ve read my book, please go to Amazon.com and write a review. There are already 3 people who have done so—and the wonderful thing is that I don’t know any of them!!!

Thanks for the help in spreading the word.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Relevant Magazine’s Neue Quarterly

2009-04-20T15:45:00.001-05:00

I was recently interviewed for Neue’s podcast, and you can listen to it here. Also, feel free to join in on the on-going discussion on the podcast’s webpage.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Twitter

2009-04-20T09:09:00.002-05:00

Last night I signed up for Twitter in the midst of my sapping around because Brenda and I had Cubs tickets for last night's game (Cubs vs. Cards!) and not only did the game get rained out, but it got rescheduled for a date when I’m speaking out of town. How miserable! And to top it off, today I get to trudge around in the rain on the CTA for meetings all day.

Note to self—praise the Lord that I have a job and am doing what I’m doing…stop complaining!

Now that I’ve gotten that out:

For those who don’t know, Twitter is like a Facebook status except it is its own website. I’m not too sure how I feel about it. Maybe it’s just because I’m a loyal Facebook fan, but I don’t necessarily see the point. I thought I’d give it a try anyway. Just so you know, Twitter is in no way, nor will it ever, replace my beloved Facebook.

My Twitter name is:

lovesmesomeyou

Yes, you read that right. Broken up it says that I “loves me some you”. Which I actually do…

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Day of Silence

2009-04-17T12:52:00.002-05:00

Today is the National Day of Silence, where GLBT youth and their allies vow to not talk today at school to bring awareness to the name-calling, bullying and harassment of them in schools. In response to this day there are many Christians out there who decide to pull their kids out of school in protest.

I think that is the biggest mistake a Christian parent could possibly make.

Why?

1. It breeds in our Christian youth the idea that if we don’t agree with something we protest and walk in the other direction. And in my opinion, there is no worse way to represent our Christian faith on such a day.

2. From my perspective, what a better way to bring the GLBT topic to the forefront in our Christian homes then to use this day as a springboard in how to peacefully and productively engage what has always been nothing more than a very divisive topic. And in doing such a thing with middle and high schoolers, it gives us a wonderful opportunity to start our youth down the right path in how to bridge within the GLBT community. It's our chance to do something different in showing our faith rather than just talking about it in regards to homosexuality, which is what most of us tend to do.

I was on a Christian radio program recently and off the air the host told me about how his daughter wanted to go to school that day because she knew all of her other Christian friends were going to protest and not be in school. The host went on to tell me that she was the only Christian kid left in many of her classes, and at the end of the day everyone in one of her classes was being silent. Since she was the only one not being silent, and since she was the only Christian, for 20 minutes the teacher allowed her to talk about her faith and her love, and all of the reasons why she decided to come to school that day in opposition to all of the other Christian who didn’t!

Just think what would happen around the country if our Christian kids did as she did…

I could only imagine.

A colleague of mine, Dr. Warren Throckmorton, has started what he calls the Golden Rule Pledge to be done on the Day of Silence. Take a look, and next year feel free to join in—keeping our kids in school and using this day as the Kingdom opportunity it should be.

What do you think...right or wrong?

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Weigh-in #3

2009-04-17T12:23:00.000-05:00

Well, I have to be honest … I haven’t worked out in forever! Drat. And since, I was scared to weigh myself. But when I did this morning it was a lot better than I thought. At least I’ve been trying to eat better?! But starting tomorrow (AGAIN), I’ll be working out. Please pray for me that I’ll have consistent motivation to get my butt to the gym each day.

Current Weight: 251.0 lbs.

Weight loss since last weigh-in: 1.7 lbs.

Total weight loss thus far: 8.5 lbs.

I’ll be weighing myself in again on Friday May 1.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Practical Applications for Validation vs. Affirmation

2009-04-16T11:02:00.001-05:00

Yesterday as I posted my deconstruction of the difference between validation and affirmation, and its essentialness to bridge building between the GLBT and conservative communities, a reader posed the question:

What a wonderful challenge…I have not mastered that skill without having the feeling I’m conceding to agree. Do you have any practical ways to get over that?

Here is my response:

As practical as I can get, it’s still somewhat theory by nature—which can only start to change by making a daily cognizant choice to reframe your mindset and understanding during those particularly uncomfortable and disagreeable situations within a relationship. Here's what I mean:

The only way that I have found this validation/affirmation construct to become an effective part of someone's life is with a repeated purposefulness throughout each different context of life. For example, unless I CONSTANTLY remind myself that validation is different than affirmation in whatever situation (ESPECIALLY IN THE SITUATIONS THAT SO EASILY MAKE ME RECOIL AND GET DEFENSIVE),

and,

unless I CONSTANTLY vocalize [that validation is different than affirmation] to myself during each time of reflection on the aforementioned situation, I have found it just doesn't sink in for me and I end up no better then when I started.

The best place to start is with the place that makes you most easily revert back to your baseline feelings/judgments/reactions that at the end of the day might seem right to you, but actually end up causing a further divide between you and the other person/situation. These moments of self-reflection are key, because you have to be able to find those certain "push-button" situations/issues first, before you’re able to start applying this construct into everyday life. And unless you're willing to do some digging within yourself, no matter how well intentioned you are to trying to practically use this validation vs. affirmation understanding, it'll never happen—or if it does, it will only superficially last. And that is not the point.

In summary:

1. Self-reflect to find those moments that most easily make you recoil and get defensive

2. Daily remind yourself in preparation of those moments that validation is different than affirmation, and remind yourself of how that difference is not only important, but how it will play itself out within your current context

3. After the situation, replay it in your head and vocalize to yourself how you could have better implemented the legitimization of the other person’s experiences that have led them to their current spot—recognizing that difference and yet being able to productively move forward within that divisive situation/context.

Any follow-ups?

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Follow-Up to Scot McKnight’s Post—Part 2

2009-04-15T15:12:00.004-05:00

Here is my quick summary to understand what I was talking about in the last post regarding validation and affirmation (as I spend all of Chapter 5 in my book deconstructing validation. The chapter is called: Who are We Looking to for Validation: The GLBT Quest for Good News from God).

The first thing we all must understand is that there is a difference between validation and affirmation, as they are two completely independent constructs. Yet surrounding the topic of homosexuality, many in the Church take the stance that if I am to validate a GLBT person’s life and experiences as legitimate to them—their life—their story, that automatically means that I am leaping to affirming a pro-gay theological belief system. And that conclusion is just not right (or appropriate)! How am I to live within Christ’s come-as-you-are-culture if I’m not willing to even put in the time or effort to meet people exactly where they are without invalidating their entire known existence? It is imperative to be engaged with exactly what the GLBT community understands as truth, especially if it does not fully align with your understanding of truth. I believe that you can never see into someone’s heart and soul as much as we all think we can.

The finger pointing and the negative assumptions happen all of the time to both the straight Christian and the GLBT person—and it’s no wonder why GLBT people for the most part want nothing to do with us or our churches. Christians have to stretch themselves as they realize that validation to a gay or lesbian’s experience as it has pertained to their life is indeed as real and valid to them as any of your experiences. My belief is that discrediting those things are the same as losing faith in the understanding that God is in control of any situation or life—no matter where they are coming from. That might be a harsh analogy, but the severity of this invalidation pandemic is plaguing this culture war and perpetuating the very real disconnect that exists in being able to productively build a bridge from both communities. Many GLBT people are not willing to even entertain the idea of Christ from an evangelical perspective because they are too (I would even say rightly so) caught up in the fear of having their lives and experiences quashed by Christians who won’t think twice about it.

Just because someone’s life and experiences are validated does not mean that automatically affirms what others might not believe. I am not asking or expecting either community to believe in something they don’t believe in. But the conversation has always attempted to just force both sides into affirming one belief over the other (which will never systemically happen) rather than start with the base level understanding of validation—which provides space for all of us to start willfully living in this place of constructive tension. Change the conversation to humanly validation as relevant to legitimate life experiences, and all of a sudden you have changed the course of a potential relationship/significant place of growth socially and in Christ as well.

We must start to own a mindset that passes beyond the knee-jerk actions that traditionally cause reactionary offensive attacks towards each other. We have to work on the hang-ups when hearing a variety of traditionally hostile and divisive constructs, in order to fulfill our goal of being a productive bridge builder for the Kingdom.

Once that happens, we are all indeed starting from a level playing field.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Follow-Up to Scot McKnight’s Post—Part 1

2009-04-14T11:39:00.005-05:00

Last week I alerted everyone to two posts Scot McKnight did about a letter he received from a Christian worship leader who asking for advice about a student in their group who is gay and believes God blesses same-sex civil unions. He posted the letter one day, and then the next day he posted a response he asked me to write.

Over the course of a few days there were 142 comments going back and forth about things that didn’t even relate to the letter or to my response—such is the life of the majority of posts/comments about the topic of homosexuality (the reason why I LOVE you all so much because you get it, and don’t get into those traditional and stale debates that prove very unproductive). Anyway, Scot was so taken back by the comments that he went back and posted another blog on what it means to have civility in two contexts: the bottom line in civility and civility in the intent in our convictions.

I thought Scot was 100% dead on with his deconstruction of civility at its core and its application, and it’s worth a read. Then something strange happened, within the next day or so there were 142 comments just on that post—and a majority of them weren’t civil at all! I think what happens is when people see the word homosexuality connected with anything, they think it gives them right to not contemplate anything that was said, but rather gives them free reign to resort back to their baseline arguments; wherever those arguments are coming from. That’s crazy! And that is exactly what task the Lord has given me—to systemically help us learn to not do such a thing.

In my observations of all of the 284 comments between the three posts (some of which were my comments as well), I feel the biggest disconnected gap between Scot and my words vs. the majority of the comments were that people are having a very difficult time separating the difference between validation and affirmation; an important part of understanding how to peacefully and productively build a bridge and one that I'll talk about in my next post.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

My Book is Officially Considered Adult Content

2009-04-14T10:31:00.002-05:00

Over the weekend a huge controversy hit the GLBT community. No, not gay marriage. Not the Church or the military or an “outing” of another huge celebrity.

It was Amazon…

Amazon decided to classify certain books as “Adult Content” and then promptly drop them from their bestseller search engines because they felt Adult Content was inappropriate. You can read two short articles about it here and here.

I find this funny because on Friday I noticed that my book had no ranking anymore, and I couldn’t even find it through any of Amazon’s general search engines. I called them and told them about my book and its missing rankings in Gender and Sexuality and Gay and Lesbian Nonfiction. They transferred me around to five different people and the final person just told me that nobody had bought my book in 2 days—since Amazon’s rankings are updated by the hour, two days of no book sales would severely hurt the ranking.

And then I come to find out it’s not about book sales because people were definitely buying it … it’s rather that Love is an Orientation is considered Adult Content! Ouch. Who knew I was writing Christian gay and lesbian porn? (that last comment was a sarcastic...)

:)

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Andrew Marin on the Radio this Evening - Revised

2009-04-13T12:59:00.005-05:00

This evenging at 6:30pm Pacific Time (8:30pm Central), I will be a guest on the Eric Hogue Radio Show that broadcasts throughout Northern California. You can listen live here (once you click on the link, there is a Listen Live button in the upper left hand corner).

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Bath-Mats are Really Important!

2009-04-09T11:43:00.000-05:00

The reason there have been no posts the last few days is because I slipped and fell while taking a shower, and I hit my head on the bathtub. Drat! I’ve been quite foggy these past few days and not able think too hard, so thanks for hanging in there with me.

In the meantime, have a happy Easter and I’ll see you all on Monday with new posts.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Love is an Orientation Out Ranks the Kama Sutra!!!

2009-04-06T11:49:00.005-05:00

Ever since I was told that my book was on Amazon I checked it’s potential ranking categories to see who is bestselling in those areas…and the Kama Sutra was always the #1 book in the Gender and Sexuality category. Well at least for right now, Love is an Orientation is the #1 book in Gender and Sexuality, the #3 book in Gay and Lesbian Nonfiction and has an overall ranking of 5,209 out of the over 2,000,000 books on Amazon.

I realize that the Amazon rankings don’t define a whole lot in the grand scheme of things as there are many other avenues to buy my book (all of which don’t count towards the Amazon rankings), but for this period in time, the picture above that was captured by the “print screen” function on the computer does indeed mean a whole lot to me.

I pray each day that Love is an Orientation will be able to reach out across boundaries and bridge the divide by peacefully and productively advancing the dialogue to lessen this divisive culture war going on in the GLBT and conservative Christian communities.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Picking Up My Books—Part 2

2009-04-05T07:15:00.002-05:00

These are 3 short videos of me on Monday March 30th at InterVarsity Press’ distribution center, as I complete orders for Love is an Orientation that were ordered through IVP. The first video is me filling out the shipping order. The second video is me packing and sealing the envelopes. The third video is me and my father-in-law packing the boxes of my book into a van to transport back to The Marin Foundation. Who knows, maybe I packed and shipped your order? Enjoy the experience!

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Picking Up My Books—Part 1

2009-04-05T06:25:00.004-05:00

On Monday March 30th I had the exciting privilege of driving to InterVarsity Press’ headquarters with my father-in-law (in a big van) to pick up the 1,000 Love is an Orientation books that The Marin Foundation ordered....because it's officially released and will be hitting the stores shortly!

Here

You can find the full day's events in pictures (including me with IVP staff, my editor, the designer of the cover, me packaging an order of my book and me signing copies) on my Facebook page.

I can't wait to start to hear what you all think! Feel free to post a review of it on Amazon!

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Christianity Today Reviews Love Is An Orientation

2009-04-03T09:25:00.004-05:00

While I was in San Diego speaking at the National Pastors Convention I had an opportunity to sit down with an editor (Brandon O’Brien) from Christianity Today (CT) for a thirty minute interview to talk about my book and the work of The Marin Foundation.

You can click here to read CT’s review of Love Is An Orientation. At the bottom of the review is a one minute, forty-eight second audio clip from the longer thirty minute interview that will by published in Christianity Today International’s Leadership Journal in a few weeks.

As for my thoughts on the review, I thought it was very heartfelt. I especially enjoyed the last paragraph, although it hurts my heart to think that some Christians think my writing is abrasive—I can only think that has as much to due with my topic and my challenges to intentionally pursue tension filled relationships. Either way, I LOVED Brandon’s response.

If there is one thing I’ve learned over the years of my work, it’s that printed words never seem to do the job—the reason I am committed to blanketing the country so as many people can see my face, heart and passion for seeing a bridge built. Hearing me does much more than words could ever do (although don’t get me wrong, I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THE WORDS AS WELL!!!).

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Andrew Marin on Jesus Creed

2009-04-02T09:17:00.002-05:00

Today Scot McKnight, a good friend, well known theologian and the creater of the #1 rated emergent blog Jesus Creed, posted a response that he asked me to write regarding a letter he recived from a worship leader about a gay student in the worship team.

You can check out the original letter here...

And you can check out my response here...

Please feel free to join the "hot" discussion over at Scot's blog, as there are already over 80 comments between the two posts.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Guest Post: Divorce of the Church—Part 2

2009-04-01T07:22:00.003-05:00

Here is Part 2 to DJ's personal experience to how homosexuality in the church affects GLBT people. And DJ, thank you so much for sharing your life and thoughts with us, allowing us to enter into your head, worries, fears and understandings...

"I don’t think people quite understand the pressure that the gay-oriented Christian feels in the church. We have a hard enough time not hating ourselves, without having to face the derision and misunderstanding of others. It is precisely this external pressure that often drives us to extreme measures: seeking ineffectual exorcisms, suppressing the very core of our sexual selves, jumping into relationships to prove we’re straight (meanwhile ruining the life and self-esteem of the hetero other in the process), and the like.

When you think that you’re going to cause mommy and daddy (in this case the Church) to split—and worse—when one of them might hate you in the process, you will do just about anything to avoid that eventuality. I’ve frequently found that the motivations behind seeking such ends are dysfunctional. Those who pursue these methods often do so due to stated and unstated pressure to conform, maintain status quo, and keep the family from getting upset. Silence seems to be the least consequential (and least destructive) way to handle these internal questions, whether openly gay, celibate, or ex-gay. This silence takes its toll.

I still struggle with this sense that I am ultimately the cause of enormous strife in the Church. I sometimes wish there simply were no gay-ness at all. I wish I could go back to the days before I became conscious of my sexuality, even as many people in the Church are more than happy to relegate sexuality to this very place. But this is simply not reality. This is not where I am—where we are. With all of my unrealistic wishing, I do hope that my greatest wish has some hope for coming to fruition:

I wish that mommy and daddy would just stop fighting.

Perhaps if more people in the church could recognize that I’m not here to destroy the Church, nor the foundations of our society, some of the dissension would abate. I’m not here to eradicate families, and I have no evil agenda to recruit your children. I love the church, absolutely love it. Why else would I put up with so many of the abuses I have felt from it? My sad testimony is replete with instances where my greatest wounds were inflicted by loving church folks. But I’ve remained. I haven’t left. I wish everyone would stop fighting because they feel so uncomfortable about my decision to stick around. It breaks my heart every time someone leaves my church over a disagreement. It’s like mommy and daddy can’t seem to be mature enough to work out their differences, so they just leave. And ultimately, it feels as if they’re leaving because of me."

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Can’t Help Myself

2009-03-31T20:45:00.003-05:00

First off, each week I’m getting more and more annoyed by the new judge Kara for the following reasons:

She says the same stuff for every contestant in a monotone, hand-gestured manner as she tries to make her “big idea” become a reality (which it never really does)

She tries too hard to make herself too relevant and important (trying to prove she belongs as a judge on the greatest show ever—which she hasn’t)

She is always telling the contestants: “You should have sung so-and-so instead” (Note to Kara—that is not useful or constructive at all because the song is already done and they can’t do anything else for that week’s style of song besides listen to her babble)

On with my updated rankings:

1. Adam
(He is just flat out crazy good and really strange—yet super entertaining)

2a. Kris
(He has an awesome voice, is awesome on the guitar and now we learned it’s the same on the piano)

2b. Danny
(Although I wish I would see some tears in his emotion, he kills it week after week)

4. Allison
(Just so different and fresh)

5. Matt
(I actually like him much more than America or the judges seem to)

6. Lil
(Although she has some pipes, she’s too predictable)

7. Scott
(His skill and attitude towards criticism amaze me, but I feel the others are just better)

8. Megan
(She’s very cute, but she tends to biff her songs every week)

9. Anoop
(It doesn’t seem he’s ready for this stage)

What is your ranking thus far???

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Guest Post: The Divorce of a Church—Part 1

2009-03-31T13:31:00.006-05:00

In a previous post DJ, a reader of my blog, made some very poignant comments that I thought were extremely important for everyone to hear. Here is Part 1 of his feelings on being gay and attending a church that is having a hard time living in the tension of what is faith and sexuality:

"Over the past several years, I’ve discovered many revelations about my sexuality, not the least of which is how my former method for dealing with it was chosen primarily by fear: fear of going to hell, fear of becoming a sex-monger, fear of losing my spiritual community, etc. I could no longer survive under the oppressive weight I felt from my former church, especially in the midst of insufficient supportive relationships. For the sake of my mental health, I began to visit another church in the area.

Just 2 weeks into going to services, I could sense God saying “this isn’t where you should be visiting; this is home.” I felt a sense of welcome that I had never experienced in a church before. As I began to take steps towards Christ in accepting myself in the way that He had, I also began to recognize that not everyone in attendance would follow me there.

To say I felt split and confused is an understatement. But at that church, I found a safe space to seek God regarding my sexuality, eventually coming to reconcile my faith and sexuality. This had some unpredictable side effects though:

I felt like I would be the cause of a major rift, being one of only a few gay people at the church.

As this was a transitional period in our church’s history, there was a significant amount of tension in the air, despite the fact (or perhaps because of the fact?) that we never uttered a word about the 2 big litmus tests for determining a true Christian: abortion and homosexuality. While I was not able to articulate this then, I now realize that the hushed atmosphere began to feel like the dysfunctional home that didn’t talk about problems, but where it was impossible to escape them. And I felt like the kid who was going to eventually be the cause of mommy and daddy’s divorce. And so we trudged on in virtual silence. I came out slowly to people I deemed safe, and swallowed my true being around those who felt “lovingly” hostile.

At some point along the way, people began to silently (and sometimes boisterously) leave. No one really said it, but it was clear that things were starting to feel very “liberal” and “unsound” to some of the more conservative folks in the congregation, just because there were a few gay people starting to attend. And the great divorce felt all the more imminent.

I can remember talking to our new senior pastor (in my early days at the church), and divulging my sordid same-sex attractions to him. I intimated that I was very confused about all of this, and trying to find my way—since my previous church had brought me nothing but pain and suicidal ideation. This pastor made me feel very loved and valuable. He replied that he would not preach me into the right way to go, nor look down on me and give me his sage advice, but rather, he would walk alongside me and question with me.

It was a huge sigh of relief. And yet, I could very well tell this would not be the posture of several others in the church. I remember pleading with him to keep my journey silent, so as not to stir up controversy. By this point, I had become pretty visible in the church, giving the welcome occasionally, and involved in several lay leadership positions. If news were to break that I was gay, people would protest. They’d do as people have done in other churches I’ve attended upon discovering my “struggle”: they’d deem me unworthy of service, and remove me from the ministries where I felt called. And then, they’d fight. They’d fight those who would dare stand up for me and declare my value to the church. They’d fight those who didn’t feel threatened by me. My deepest fear of course, was not the fighting, but the inevitable split this would lead to, and I would be the cause."

Part 2 to be posted tomorrow...

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

My Book is in the Warehouse

2009-03-25T16:18:00.004-05:00

I just got the coolest phone call I’ve ever received:

InterVarsity Press just called to tell me that my book, Love is an Orientation, just got delivered to their distribution warehouse!!!

So for all of you who have pre-ordered it (and thank you so very much for that!!!), it should be arriving some point soon! And this also means that soon it’ll be hitting a Borders and/or Barnes and Noble near you as well!

As soon as I go and pick up my copies, I’ll take some pictures to chronicle the experience and post them on the blog to share in this excitement together.

YEA! We did it, and the time is now!!!

:)

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Gays in the Military

2009-03-25T08:51:00.002-05:00

I recently read an article by a national Christian organization claiming that having open gay and lesbian people serve in the military would be a threat to the congruency of our armed forces. Three things came to my mind:

1. A few years back a study in TIME said that 60% of publications from 1940-1950 stated that gay people were:

a. A direct threat to the strength of the US military
b. A direct threat to the security and strength of the US government
c. A direct threat to the safety of the general American public

It saddens my heart to realize that, although not the majority, some of us in the Christian community still believe those claims of governmental, societal and personal destruction from a half-century ago.

2. What do people in the actual military think?

The same Christian organization also reported that 10% of the people in the military would not reenlist if “don’t ask don’t tell” was repealed. My general belief is that, like my friend Shane Claiborne says,

“America needs the Amish for homeland security and Jesus for President.”

Beyond my general thoughts on war, my wife knows some military “lifers” who are hard-nosed, small town, country-strong, non-Christian soldiers who have done a number of tours in the Middle East, and now train soldiers to do the same. She asked them on my behalf what they would think about a repeal of “don’t ask don’t tell” and each of them said (to some variation of the wording):

“Everyone knows who the gay guys are because most of them don’t hide it. In a life vs. death battle, none of that matters anyway. No one really cares except the extremely homophobic people who keep their distance outside of active duty—and that seems to be a really small number.”

3. The broader issue I can’t get past is:

Why would we want to stop gays and lesbians, who would give their life for our country, from enlisting? If someone is willing to enlist and actively engage in combat around the world (something personally, I wouldn’t willfully do), why would I want ban them, or anyone else from doing so? That just doesn’t compute for me.

Agree? Disagree?

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Reminder of Faith in Food

2009-03-23T12:11:00.002-05:00

This past weekend my wife and I stopped in to eat at Portillos (if you’ve ever been to Chicago you know the wonderfulness that is Portillos!). When we sat down I looked at the booth next to us and I saw a very elderly couple sitting on one side, and sitting across from them on the other side was a homeless man. The sight of this intrigued me, and I couldn’t help but try to listen in as much as I could. And what I saw and heard truly blessed me.

This elderly couple sat there with this homeless man, fed him, and more than that, were 100% totally engaged with this man and everything he was saying. What was so special was the look on the homeless man’s face as he seemed overwhelmed that some random people he didn’t know would care so much about him.

Living in Chicago, there is no shortage of homeless people around always asking you for money. Many people just get desensitized to their requests. Now I’m not saying that I don’t just pass them by like everyone else the majority of the time, because I do. Though during our brutal winters I do make a point to go through my closet and collect all of my old coats and sweatshirts and I take them and purposefully walk around Chicago to find homeless people to give them to, trying to bless them in the name of Jesus.

But I’ve never taken a homeless person out to eat and sat there doing nothing other than listen to them and try and bless them through engagement. Watching this elderly couple do exactly that was a humbling reminder of another way believers can put their money and mouth where their faith is.

I know for one, the next time I’m headed out to eat and come across a homeless person in need, I’m taking them with me.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Reflection from last night’s Living in the Tension

2009-03-20T13:00:00.004-05:00

I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced quite the time of total transparency in community more so then I did last night. The topic was Slang, Slurs and Sex: The stopping points that separate us from each other and the Father. I opened our time last night the only way I knew how—by being as raw and honest as I possibly could:

“When my three best friends came out to me in those three consecutive months I ran away because the only thing that went through my head every time I looked at them was two naked dudes banging. And they were lesbians! Shouldn’t that have turned me on instead? But it wasn’t about them, it was about the image I had groomed myself to be grossed out by. And I didn’t know what to do. That was my original stopping point.”

And from that moment on, for the next hour and a half a group of us that consisted of a Monk (yes, a literal Monk), gay Christian men and women, celibate folks with a same-sex attraction and straight conservative Christian men and women transparently poured our hearts out about what it was like growing up, living and exploring our own lives through our own contexts surrounding our unique experiences, words (language said by us or to us) and community—or forced lack there of—of what it was like to originally enter into this journey that is faith and sexuality in culture.

Some of the night was not pretty. There were many tears, questions (wonderful and sincere questions that in everyday life people on both ends would be scared to honestly ask the other for the fear of a very harsh response/alienation) and moments of bewilderment as we all at one point or another realized, “I can’t believe I just said (or told that story) out loud.” And strangely enough, it finally felt right for many of us to step out like that for the first time. We all got it. We all got that this is what our intentional community of living in the tension is all about. Learning to listen and love those opposite than ourselves, even (and willfully) amongst our differences.

A few profound thoughts that I feel like I have to share during the part of our discussion surrounding the belief in the cultural imputation of homophobia and secularism within society:

“Your [Andrew’s] stopping point was the vision in your head. Mine was a clergy member raping me every Wednesday night in the Parish House and then going to church on Sunday and listening to him talk about righteous living.”

“I’ll be honest, community makes things easier when others around you are similar. This is my Christian community and it’s easier to continue in it, in agreement with everyone else surrounding one’s ‘coming out’ rather than be the outsider to go against the grain.”

“You never think about God the same way after you’re treated a certain way by believers, no matter how much you try and try to reclaim that pureness throughout your life.”

“We [the Church/small groups] seem to value not really knowing each other in community because it’s nicer and easier that way. You ever notice with small groups when a big secret is revealed within “community”, it usually splits the group or someone leaves because the truth in that sacred moment and the subsequent “what happens now” that comes after is too difficult or painful or uncomfortable for people to stick around.”

At the end of the night I realized that each of our faith journeys after the ‘outing’ (whether that is a gay person putting themselves out there by coming out or a straight person putting themselves out there by standing by them no matter what), our faith is seriously tested at that point—a defining moment in many people’s lives of who and what God and his believers are.

We must all work overtime to deliberately deconstruct those potential moments by teaching others who have not been through such an experience what it means to purposefully bring forth a cultural shift away from traditional imputation and onto intentional constructive tension.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Living in the Tension Community Gathering

2009-03-19T09:22:00.001-05:00

Tonight is our second Living in the Tension Community Gathering, 7pm at 5255 N. Ashland in Chicago (yes, the address is one building different). For more information you can click here.

We will be discussion the language, biases and stereotypes that tear us all down. Tonight’s theme will be:

Slang, Slurs and Sex: The Stopping Points that Separate us from Each Other and the Father

If you’re in Chicago, swing on by and get involved in The Marin Foundation’s new intentional community of uncomfortable immersion regarding faith, sexuality and culture!

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

A New Way of Marriage?

2009-03-19T09:11:00.001-05:00

A friend of mine, Bart Campolo, brought this recent TIME Magazine article to my attention through his blog. The article is about two law professors, one who is in favor of gay marriage and the other who is against it, and their new theory in how to provide legal and political space for marriage, that would satisfy both ends of the spectrum. They suggest that in order to provide this space marriage must be removed from the hands of the government.

“Instead, give gay and straight couples alike the same license, a certificate confirming them as a family, and call it a civil union — anything, really, other than marriage. For people who feel the word marriage is important, the next stop after the courthouse could be the church, where they could bless their union with all the religious ceremony they wanted. Religions would lose nothing of their role in sanctioning the kinds of unions that they find in keeping with their tenets. And for nonbelievers and those who find the word marriage less important, the civil-union license issued by the state would be all they needed to unlock the benefits reserved in most states and in federal law for married couples.”

In a further explanation the article went on to state that:

“Both sets of lawyers agreed that the idea would resolve the equal-protection issue. Take the state out of the marriage business and then both kinds of couples — straight and gay — would be treated the same.”

It’s an interesting concept, one that I think the GLBT and secular communities would have no problem with—but ultimately one that I don’t think the Church would ever agree to. Legally it makes sense: if there is a legally documented separation between Church and State, then marriage must be included in that separation as well. These professors’ theory makes room for such a thing. But at the end of the day the Church has staked a claim on the “marriage business” and I would be shocked to systemically see that ever change.

None the less, it doesn’t mean it’s not a great concept or one that should be seriously considered.

I was wondering all of your thoughts as well? This could be a really interesting discussion…

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Swearing on Amazing Race

2009-03-18T10:28:00.001-05:00

Last week I was watching Amazing Race. One of the contestants this season is Mel White, whom many look at as the founder of the gay Christian movement (he founded the gay Christian organization Soulforce, an activist organization that works for the “freedom for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people from religious oppression through the practice of relentless nonviolent resistance.”) Before he came out, Dr. White was a ghostwriter for the likes of Billy Graham, Pat Robertson, Jim Bakker and Jerry Falwell. I know, some lightweights, huh?

When White did come out he was vilified, and publically hated within the Christian community at large, and I have absolutely no idea what that must have been like for an entire population of folks whom you love and serve, so quickly and so publically turn their backs on you—even as I don’t believe Christ would have turned His back on White in the same situation. I don’t know Mel White personally, but I do know some people who call him a friend. And they have nothing but great things to say about a man who has been through what only very few could imagine.

Back to the Amazing Race…I was watching the episode above and at the time of 7:56 in this video, on national TV Mel White swore in anger. It was so pronounced that they had to fuzz out his mouth so no one could read his lips. Now this is NOT a judgment on him. I was just shocked to see it.

I have a friend who knows Mel ask me not to write something like this about him because of the effect it might have on a potential future relationship with him. But isn’t iron to sharpen iron? To be honest, it’s not just Dr. White. I cringe whenever I hear any believer swear. Maybe I’m just that old school? But as a professor of mine in seminary says,

“The world doesn’t read the Bible, they read Christians.”

I long that the world can read Christians and see a unique group of folks who put Jesus’ hands and feet to this earth in not only what we do and how we do it, but also with what we say.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Lord Judge Me According to My Integrity

2009-03-17T12:25:00.002-05:00

I was reading Psalm 7 the other day and I noticed something that I had never noticed before:

Awake, my God; decree justice.

Let the assembled people gather
around you.

Rule over them from on high;
let the LORD judge the peoples.

Judge me, O LORD, according to my righteousness,
according to my integrity, O Most High.

O righteous God,
who searches minds and hearts,
bring to an end the violence of the wicked
and make the righteous secure.

Wow. What a word by David concerning those that perpetuated Saul’s paranoia to keep the kingdom he rightfully thinks is his, and not the Lord’s that was given to David. The words:

“Judge me, O LORD, according to my righteousness,
according to my integrity, O Most High”

have stuck with me the last few days since I read them. David is pleading with God to judge him. Who actually asks God to judge them? And not only so, but David puts his inner most faith and faults in God’s hands by asking Him to judge David according to his righteousness and integrity!

Let us all have enough faith that we too cry out and be so bold as to want God to judge each of us according to our integrity. It’s a very scary thought if you actually think about it…but David’s heart at that moment intrigues me, and challenges me as I strive to be a man full of Godly integrity. That when I am judged by the Almighty, I might kneel before God and say with 100% sincere conviction,

“Judge me O LORD, by my integrity, and see that what I have done is pleasing in Your eyes.”

We can say that all we want, but if we’re being honest with ourselves, who knows what the outcome will be? This is just another reminder of the power and faith that it is to live a distinct life as a follower of the Way. Life giving? Yes. Scary? Without a doubt!

I recently (and unfortunately) saw a blog post written about me by someone I don’t know (I’m guessing he is gay), nor has this person ever tried to contact me to talk. They said:

“This guy is a FundaGelical. He says he's a conservative Christian. He admits it in the video [the promo video from Love is an Orientation]. He contrasts his "conservative/traditional" view with the "pro-gay" view. Well, if that doesn't show what he is, I don't know what would. Thus, although he is not open enough to come right out and say it, he believes homosexuals are sinners.He's very crafty in talking around the issue.......but he admits to the conservative/traditional Christian view on gays. So he's no different than any of the gay bashers.......except he's hiding it better. Unless he can come out and say that it is NOT sin for a gay couple to have a marriage relationship just like a heterosexual couple.

He's just another guy making a living by slandering gays. And he never says anything even remotely resembling that.....he is strangely silent about it.

I cannot even begin to express my contempt for such people, and especially those who make their living through such behavior.”

I would love to sit here and publicly tear apart off of his false assumptions, but as David said, LORD, please judge me by my integrity. I know this is a volatile place that I have been led to, and all I can do is claim The I Am as The I Am and continue praying

“O righteous God,
who searches minds and hearts,
bring to an end the violence of the wicked
and make the righteous secure”

For we are all children of the Holy God, and all deserve to be treated as such - the man who posted those words as well as me. Let us all continue to work towards putting an end to the violence: rhetorical and physical.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Here it is!

2009-03-12T18:10:00.005-05:00

Remember my sermon from Capitol Hill the night before the Inauguration—the same sermon that is in the process of being archived in the Smithsonian? Well, here it is! I hope you enjoy it.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

This Weekend's United Church of Christ Event

2009-03-12T13:10:00.003-05:00

This weekend I will be speaking to a group of United Church of Christ (UCC) clergy members in the St. Louis area. As many of you know, the UCC is one of the denominations that are being torn apart by the topic of homosexuality. Although much of the UCC has already decided upon an affirming stance (a pro-gay theological belief system) that includes ordination of gay and lesbian people, there are still factions that believe in a traditional interpretation of Scripture.

The fight within the UCC has become public news, especially in the Midwest region. I was therefore asked to come and speak to a gathering of UCC clergy, both progressive and conservative, together, to help facilitate a peaceful and productive dialogue to help stop the fighting. If you think of me over the weekend, please pray for my time with those in the UCC who will be in attendance, as the Holy Spirit will move throughout our time and let there be significant changes within each side’s understanding and will to build bridges towards each other and for the Kingdom.

If we can’t work with our own, how can we expect those on the outside to believe in what we claim?

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Getting Tempted in Both Directions

2009-03-11T16:04:00.001-05:00

As the profile of The Marin Foundation starts to grow so does the political pressure. Over the last half-year I have had a few memorable political occurrences that I think really summarize faith, sexuality and where our culture is at regarding homosexuality.

It all started last summer when a very well known secular GLBT organization offered to pay me a significant amount of money to release a one paragraph, joint statement with them saying that I believe homosexuality isn’t a sin. Wherever you’re coming from theologically, forget about those implications for a second and instead concentrate on the inherent political nature and its impact of what a statement like that would mean. To me, it meant a few things:

1. This well known secular GLBT organization was either, a) not comfortable with The Marin Foundation’s willful commitment to the Lord’s call on us to act as bridge builders; working within both communities to level the disconnect and the culture war, or b) wanted to gain more public support to accumulate more people on ‘their’ side.

2. That the Majority Mindset of accumulation = domination is the pervasive mindset within this debate as the GLBT community believes if they can have enough influential people/organizations to side with them, conservative Christians are going to have to believe the GLBT community’s version of the Truth.

3. The traditional means of picking a side, staking your ground and then fighting is still the default means to handle the topic of homosexuality.

Here’s the kicker, the last I spoke with that GLBT organization, the offer is still on the table after all of this time. And believe me, The Marin Foundation could use the money. But what The Marin Foundation can’t do is go against what the Lord has put us here to do. As a friend of mine said,

“It’s not free will if people don’t have the free will to go in the other direction as well.”

Then recently I got an email from a very well known conservative ex-gay organization. In that email they asked me if during some of my larger speaking engagements I could mention their name in partnership with The Marin Foundation to give them more exposure; then allowing me to tap into their already large database of people and donors. When I read that email I was fuming because not only had I never been in contact with this organization until they so boisterously emailed me their request, but at that moment I made the connection that their email was the same version of bribery as the secular GLBT organization—it was just done in a “Christian” fashion.

Are Christians now no better than unbelieving secular folks? For the first time I started to actually feel Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 6:5. Are there no Christians wise enough to be held accountable for our actions that have become no better than what the pagans (secular) do?! With that realization I have come to the conclusion that the overarching problems in the Christian world regarding homosexuality falls into:

1. Either a) that Christian organization is not comfortable with The Marin Foundation’s willful commitment to the Lord’s call on us to act as bridge builders; working within both communities to level the disconnect and the culture war, or b) just wants to gain more public support to accumulate more people on ‘their’ side.

2. The Majority Mindset of accumulation = domination is the pervasive mindset within this debate as the Christian community believes if they can have enough influential people/organizations to side with them, GLBT people are going to have to believe the Christian community’s version of the Truth.

3. The traditional means of picking a side, staking your ground and then fighting is still the default means to handle the topic of homosexuality.

Sound familiar? If I only do one thing in my life, I will work until my dying day to deconstruct these mal-spirited, traditional mindsets that have become the only acceptable way to handle this topic. Mark my words: these ways are not acceptable and I will never give in, in either direction. Someone has to put a stop to all of this madness, and if the Lord has deemed The Marin Foundation to be that catalyst, then so be it.

Join with us in this new way of what it means to build a bridge and live in the tension. No longer will Majority Mindsets dominate us or culture! In his book, The Monkey and the Fish, my friend Dave Gibbons recalls an interview with the Leadership Journal through Christianity Today International. When Dave was asked about what it means to be a liquid leader in a third culture church that focuses on a decentralized model of works over a Sunday production (which, by the way, lost Dave’s mega-church 25% of their congregation and giving), he said:

“I was reading Gideon in Judges 7, where God whittled down his army from 32,000 to 300 men. It seemed like the Lord was saying to me, Dave, what do you want? Do you want 30,000 people to attend your church, or do you want 300 radicals? I remember boldly saying, “Three hundred, Lord! Yeah, three hundred warriors” (p. 212).

I hear that Dave! Lord, give me 300 countercultural, distinct followers of the Way and let’s see what our Father will boldly do with the GLBT and Christian communities across the country!

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Yes, I’m Totally Obsessed with American Idol

2009-03-10T21:49:00.001-05:00

When I started this blog I promised myself that during American Idol season I wouldn’t litter it twice a week, every week, with my obsession that is the cultural phenomenon that is American Idol. But I just couldn’t help myself after tonight’s show. I honestly have to say that overall, this show was the greatest display of talent from top to bottom, that I have ever seen in any episode of American Idol’s history.

Since the very first show eight years ago I have been passionately fanatical about everything that is American Idol:

My week is ruined if for some reason I am not able to watch any episode

Every week I vote

[Every week I vote multiple (hundreds of) times!]

Every year I go to the American Idol concert when the tour comes to Chicago

I buy all of the albums when they release

I heart Clay Aiken!!! (no, not just because he’s gay)

What can I say? Well, I think I said enough… Back to this week—I think I am so surprised about tonight because I didn’t see these unreal performances coming at all, especially since I wasn’t necessarily in awe from the Semifinals. I was only disappointed in a few people (Jorge, Anoop and Megan in that order), but overall it was an insane night of outstanding renditions of Michael Jackson’s songs. I’m not even a big fan of the King of Pop (he scares me a great deal), but I have to tell you that the other ten contestants killed it! After one week, here is my order:

1. Allison
2. Danny
3. Adam
4. Alexis
5. Scott
6. Kris
7. Michael
8. Lil
9. Matt
10. Jasmine
11. Megan
12. Anoop
13. Jorge

I’m splitting hairs with my ranking, I could actually take any of the top eight an rearrange them in any other 1-8 order. It’s going to be a great season, and I can’t wait to see what happens. There is no greater show ever created in the history of the world than American Idol!

Rock on! Marin … out.

So who did you love and who do you want to see kicked off Wednesday night?

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Another Undeserved Murder

2009-03-10T08:58:00.000-05:00

Due to me being sick last week I wasn’t able to post this, so here you go a week late.

On February 25, 1997 a man that I considered my second dad, Jeff Still, was killed by a drunk driver. Jeff was a man I looked up to in all aspects of life: He loved the Lord, he played Division I football in college, and he was a model husband and father to his two little boys—all things I aspired to each day of my young life [I was 16 years old when he was killed].

Jeff always listened to me, encouraged me, stuck up for me in the face of much adversity, and believed in me that the crazy goals I had could, and would, come true with enough faithful dedication and love.

I loved Jeff (I called him Coach Still) so very much. I still have a picture of him hanging on my refrigerator, and even in writing this my heart hurts remembering who he was and what he meant to me.

As I posted on October 17th, please do not drink and drive. There are too many innocent lives lost by stupid, and very preventable decisions to get behind the wheel of a car while drunk [and by drunk I mean ANY drinks at all]. I am not judging anyone who does drink. I am just trying to prevent more lives that will be taken away from potential friends and families who will miss that person everyday—wishing they were there for just one more day to share one more experience. Always remember that just because someone thinks they are “ok” to drive, doesn’t mean they actually are. There is no excuse.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

OUTNight Board Picture 2

2009-03-09T12:36:00.003-05:00

This is a weekly (sorry, it’s been about two weeks since the last one I put up) series of poster boards that members of The Marin Foundation had GLBT people in Boystown write on, to honestly answer questions regarding God, faith and religion.

Question:

What do you think about the Church?

A few of the Answers:

I heart the church
F*** the church, but I love the Lord
Hypocrite
I don’t know?
A home left behind

We know what we need to do with these thoughts, feelings and reactions. If we can at least keep these words in our minds while building bridges, we’ll have a significant head start on many others who still believe GLBT people and straight Christians are starting from a level playing field—because we’re not.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Radio Interview this Afternoon

2009-03-05T01:06:00.007-06:00

As we all know how I embarrassingly messed up the date last time, I know for a fact that I’m going to be on the John Hall Show on WORD-FM 101.5 Pittsburgh this afternoon at 4:10 pm Central Time. You can click here to listen live.

Hope you enjoy!

Much love.www.themarinfoundation.org

Last Night’s Living in the Tension Gathering

2009-03-04T13:08:00.002-06:00

Going into last night I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t know who was going to show up, how many people or where they were coming from socially and/or theologically. But that is the exciting (and ridiculously scary) part! About 15 people showed up—and they were gay, straight, male, female, progressive and conservative. I couldn’t have asked for any better of a mix.

As I suspected, at the beginning they were all quite shy; trying to get the lay of the land and what was going to be happening. In the Intro I went through the post I did yesterday and then started in on what it means to willfully enter into a place of uncomfortable tension—free to be you and express where you’re coming from as each person knows that the others are all totally committed to staying, reconciling and growing—no matter what.

I began talking about my understanding of what it means to have, be, and live out a Bridge Building Theology in culture (a little intro to Chapters 7 and 8) , and the next thing you know people started to open up and share about their experiences and stories with their family, friends and the different churches they attend, and have attended. Faith, culture and sexuality became alive that hour and fifteen minutes as we connected from different points to all understand that the only way we’ll actually understand, is if we admit we don’t understand. Doing life together in a context of ‘things that make our skin stand on its own’ is the only way to go...

At the end of the night there was a lot of really good feedback, as many of the people in attendance said,

“A little uncomfortable. But I’ve never even heard of anything like this, let alone it actually happening. Thank you and see you next time.”

I did think there was one really poignant message by a gay man while we were talking about what it’s like for the GLBT people to show up and put themselves out there:

“I’ve spent too much of my life being the ‘token gay person’ trying to figure out who I am and what the church thinks about me. I’ll never put myself in that place again. I just won’t do it. But here I am tonight and this gives me hope for a new way of being able to figure stuff out.”

As scary as it was for all of us in that room last night (and yes, even I was scared out of my mind with the unknown), it was such a blessed initial time together and I just feel that this thing is going to have a great impact—not only individually for those who attend, but in turn structurally, as those who attend go out and influence their circles of influence in a new way.

Don’t quench the fire!

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Living in the Tension Community Gathering

2009-03-03T12:59:00.003-06:00

Hello all. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Last week I got sick—real sick. I was knocked out for 6 days and I’m still feeling some residual effects even today, 8 days after the initial kick in the pants. But enough of my bitterness…on to happier times.

Tonight The Marin Foundation is hosting our first Living in the Tension Community Gathering at 7pm. If you’re in Chicago, feel free to come on by to 5249 N. Ashland Ave! Here is a quick breakdown of what we’re all about, our mission, 2009 schedule and tentative topic list:

Purpose for Living in the Tension Community Gathering:

Christians need to start willfully planting themselves in the middle of some very uncomfortable places—making a conscious commitment to stay in that place with the GLBT community. In 1963 Martin Luther King Jr. was locked up in a jail in Birmingham, Alabama. In a letter to confront his fellow white clergymen, MLK reflected on his life’s work to that point and said: “I must confess that I am not afraid of the world tension. I have earnestly opposed violent tension my whole life, but there is a type of constructive, non-violent tension which is necessary for growth.”

I’m going to be real right now—the Christian community has been running from that constructive, non-violent tension for too long when it comes to gays and lesbians. The productive growth that MLK was talking about only comes retrospectively, after much time has been spent immersed in tension filled areas with what we are most uneasy about. Those tension-filled areas are dirty, disgusting, confusing, overbearing and uneasy. And they’re worth every minute for the kingdom we so boldly claim ourselves to be a part of.

Mission Statement:

For gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, ex-gay, celibate and straight people to all willfully enter into a place of constructive tension, intentionally forming a community that peacefully and productively takes on the most divisive topics within the culture war that is faith and sexuality.

Why:

Culture wants to resolve conflict—we want to use our different communities’ filtration systems to elevate the conversation through the tension. Get past the stereotypes. Learn and practice what it means to live in unanswerable questions. Shift the paradigm away from a ‘fix it’ culture to one that turns hearts onto Christ amongst the most uncomfortable places. Stay. Commit. Reconcile. Grow.

Current 2009 Schedule (only through May 21st at this point) and Tentative Topics:

March 3: Elevating the Tension in Faith and Sexuality

March 19: Language, Biases and Stereotypes that Tear us all Down

April 9: Controversial Research—Myth or Fact

April 21: April 17th Day of Silence—Shame in the Closet

May 12: MILK Movie Viewing and Discussion

May 21: I DO EXIST – EX-GAY Viewing and Discussion

Future Dates still to be scheduled:

June 4: Is there such a thing as the 4th Ideal of Sexuality and Faith?

June 28: Attending Chicago Gay Pride Parade and Discussion After

July 16: Discussion with a Gay Secular Person

July 30: Discussion with an Ex-Gay Person

Aug 13: Discussion with a Gay Christian

Aug 27: Discussion with a Celibate Person

Sep 10: Discussion with a Straight Conservative Christian

Sep 22: Reverse Board—God and Gay

Oct 8: Secret Confessions (Oct 11th National Coming Out Day)

Oct 19: Volunteer at Chicago AIDS Hospice

Nov 5: Gay Marriage: Right, Wrong, Political, Religious?

Nov 17: Love is an Orientation

Dec 3: The Actual Argument: You're in the Fire Now

A goal of mine is to help other churches and organizations around the country start their own Living in the Tension Community Gatherings! I’ll fill everyone in on those plans as we’re on our way through this new, and exciting adventure in Chicago.

As my favorite saying goes (and yes, I actually made this one up!):

He was a Jewish carpenter, and therefore I build bridges.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

I Have a Radio Interview Today - Revised

2009-02-20T06:24:00.005-06:00

**Sorry if you clicked on the site to listen live and I wasn't on the program! I totally got the day wrong for the interview!!! Oops. I feel like an idiot. Although, I'm sure if you listened you did enjoy John and Susan! I'll fill you in when the new date is scheduled again.

Today at 3:40pm CST I'll be a guest on the John Hall Show on WORD-FM 101.5 in Pittsburgh. You can listen live on line by clicking here.

Much love.

http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Christian One-Liners

2009-02-20T06:18:00.001-06:00

I got these in an email, and I thought they were really clever. Not only that, but they sure relate to bridging the Church and the GLBT community!

We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.

God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?

Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

God grades on the cross, not the curve.

You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

You Look Good (no homo)

2009-02-19T08:39:00.003-06:00

(This is a picture of the beautiful city of Pittsburgh)

One of the very interesting things that I realized while being in Pittsburgh last weekend is that there is a saying that runs rapid with straight males—it’s an addendum added onto the end of a complimentary sentence that says “no homo”. Let me explain. When a straight male compliments another straight male with something like,

“Dude, love the shirt” or “That guy has a cool haircut” or “Where did you buy that, it’s awesome”, the caveat “no homo” is always added onto the end of the sentence just to make sure that the other straight male doesn’t somehow mistake the complimenting straight male for gay. So a typical straight male to straight male conversation in Pittsburgh would go something like this:

Straight male #1: “What’s going on brother? You ready to hit the town tonight?”

Straight male #2: “No doubt! It’s been a rough week and I can’t wait to hang with all
of our friends tonight.”

Straight male #1: “Yeah I hear that. By the way, love the new haircut—no homo.”

Straight male #2: “Thanks man! I just got it yesterday. And you’re looking like the
ladies will love you tonight—no homo.”

You get the picture. And in no other city I have ever been to around the country have I ever heard of something like this before! It’s like “no homo” is just an everyday part of the language? I would love to say that I don’t know why they do this, but I do. Let me give you an experience from my own life:

To give some perspective as to what I am talking about, in 2006 I randomly ran into my old high school baseball coach. What was an insignificant chance meeting at a restaurant gave me a clear and painful understanding of were I used to be. I explained that I started a non-profit foundation that works to build bridges between the GLBT and religious communities. He smiled at first, and then started to laugh so hard I thought he had misheard what I said for something funny! When he was done laughing he said to me,

“Do you remember what you used to say in high school?”

I couldn’t remember, but I had a horrible feeling that I could guess what was coming.

“You used to call everyone a fag and every other phrase out of your mouth was that’s so gay! I was a fag, other coaches were fags, teammates were fags, teachers were fags, your parents were fags and your best friends were fags. Everyone was either a fag or gay.”

Hearing what he said crippled my soul because his seemingly harmless memories of who I was really put everything in perspective. My former coach did not remember the school records I broke, nor did he remember that I was the first baseball player from my high school to receive a Division I athletic baseball scholarship to college. No. After almost seven years he only remembered that I called everyone a fag and whenever I was not satisfied with something or someone, I called them gay. I was the biggest Bible-banging homophobic alpha-male I knew; and I was embarrassed to leave that conversation realizing that I left such a horrible reflection as part of my life’s legacy.

At this point I know what you’re thinking, and please don’t make the mistake of coming up with some lame excuse as to why my thoughts or actions were ok; because they weren’t. I failed, and for the first time I had to face that head on.

So there it was, my old life in high school played out in the context of present day culture in Pittsburgh in 2009. Being years removed from where I used to be, intellectually and experientially, all I can say is this:

Just please, please stop using those terms. Take them out of your vocabulary. They might seem normal. They might seem like an everyday part of life. But you have no idea whatsoever who (whether you know the person or they just overhear you) those words might eternally impact—or worse yet, throw deeper into their own closet of pain and isolation. I wish I could take back all of those years, but I can’t. And today I sit here regretting every single time any of those words came out of my mouth; as harmless as I thought they were at that time. So please don’t make the same mistake, and then a decade later have to live with the same regret.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

Toddlers and Tiaras: God is Lost in Sexuality

2009-02-18T10:37:00.004-06:00

Due to the shear train-wreck that is the new TLC reality show, Toddlers and Tiaras, my wife loves to watch. I actually think it’s one of those “sad train wrecks” and not the “entertaining train wreck” that I usually enjoy watching; but since my wife and I only have one TV, what we decided to watch we both watch. The show is about the inner-workings of, as the title so eloquently states, toddlers (and their [crazy] parents who try as hard as they can to project normalcy in front of the cameras) that are involved in child beauty pageants.

I have seen two episodes of this show, and both times they have left a tremendous impact on me—socially and theologically. The first show featured the pageant age group of 0-11 months, as well as the 12-23 month age grouping. My favorite part of watching these age groups (and by favorite I mean the part that makes me want to throw up more than anything), is when the parent’s hold up their 0-23 month old kid in the air to show them to the judges like they are an idol of beauty and perfection. Their pose reminds me of another similar picture I seem to remember from my childhood (see below).

No Joke! That is literally what the parent's do...

And it also reminds me of another picture ingrained in my head from childhood—one that was shown in the movie Roots as the slave traders tried their best to make their “cargo” look acceptable so rich white people would give them money. Sound familiar?

Last night’s show just solidified all of this in my mind. It didn’t just show the actions of what these people believe the ideal of what a perfect perception of beauty is; it was also vocalized by the judges. At the end of the show one of the judges was asked,

“Why, and how did you determine the winner?”

The judge’s answer:

“I was looking for the glitz and glamour over natural beauty; it showed me whose parents were willing to go the extra mile and spend the extra money to make their daughter look the best.”

No matter how many times the moms might say "beauty is on the inside" (which one of the girl’s moms reiterated throughout the show), their actions always prove otherwise. And to the girl who won? Her winning response was:

“I’m excited that I won because it makes me feel beautiful.”

That’s coming from a 10-year old girl whose self-identity, worth and sexuality are being indoctrinated into a culture that extols unrealistic ideals that a pageant beauty of big money, fancy clothes and altered features = societal acceptance and love. All I kept thinking about was: Where does this leave the church and how are these kids, and all of the other kids watching this program supposed to know and understand true unconditional love from God?

I believe that these types of pageants are nothing more than child prostitution. And you can quote me on that.

In the first century church the philosophical pagan thought of the day was that the body was inherently evil, and thus the pagans adorned themselves with jewels, fine clothes and loaded themselves with lots and lots of ritual sex that was supposed to bring pleasure in order to cleanse their evil nature (hence Paul’s treatment in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20) that reminds the Corinthians that their body is a temple of the Holy Spirit—countercultural to what modernity (at their time and ours) believes.

The problem is that the Church is not doing anything to reverse the societal trends of what it means to live a distinct, beautiful life in Christ. That type of life is one that is not focused on sexuality (straight or gay) by not having to live in the ideal life that communicates the only acceptable means to existence is to grow up, get married, have kids and reproduce the cycle all over again (whether in a straight life or in a gay life that believes the same).

I believe God’s original intent in creating humans was not for them to exist how we exist today, but rather His creation was to live in relation to the Garden, and live in relationship with Him. Pure. Plain. Simple. The Trinity recreated in real life. And yet overt sexuality has become the dominant trait and characteristic of what is normal and acceptable (Christian, secular and gay communities). Doing my graduate seminary work at Moody Bible Institute—those who attend MBI call it Moody Bridal Institute.

Everyone thinks that is funny. I don’t. It’s sad, and it’s very, very pitiful. That just shows us where the lines have blurred into living with the “ideal mindset of human life” focused on a social and Christian norm that has been reverted back to a first century pagan belief system—not how God originally intended. You can talk to me about the Fall as being the cause of this mess, but with every ounce of my being I believe that we have already won the battle with evil through Christ’s death. And thus, we have an ability today, in 2009, to make countercultural decisions that reclaim God’s goal of an ideal human existence: live in relation to the Garden (or the earth today) while living in relationship with Him. Pure. Plain. Simple. The Trinity recreated in each one of our lives.

Until Churches, parents and leaders start to reorder their, and the younger generation’s priorities of what is to be acceptably mainstream (both mainstream secular as well as mainstream Christian—which has almost been just as deadly), we’ll just keep producing more well intentioned people believing that unconditional love can only be birthed through actions revolving around what is believed (Christian and secular) as an ideal sexuality.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

I'm Back from Off the Grid

2009-02-17T11:00:00.003-06:00

Yes, I’m back! I’ve actually, and strangely, missed posting; so I’m looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. I thought I’d throw out some reflections from my most recent 3 State, 8 day trip. Throughout this trip I had the privilege of speaking to the ‘whole’ of what encompasses a majority of the Christian community:

Spoke (and preached) in 2 churches (Lawndale Chicago and Harbor San Diego)

Spoke to 2,000 pastors about what it means to productively build bridges with gays and lesbians in their local communities (National Pastors Convention)

Spoke to a couple hundred college students about making a significant impact on their college campuses by going places they don’t fit in, or belong (Jubilee Conference)

A few major things stuck out to me throughout the past 8 days….

Lawndale is Legitimate
It was one of the major honors of my life to have a chance to speak at both services at Lawndale Community Church. The white, Wayne ‘Coach’ Gordon, founded LCC a few decades ago in the absolute middle of the worst neighborhood in Chicago. 30 years later the Lord has used him to totally change the culture of what it is to live in, and work in Lawndale. Coach founded the Christian Community Development Association (CCDA) with Dr. John Perkins, and they have taken their model of the 3Rs: Relocation, Reconciliation and Redistribution, across the world [yes, it’s the same model I have used with The Marin Foundation since our inception]. In working with the Federal Government, Coach has been able to receive millions of dollars in grants in which 100% of that goes directly into the Lawndale community, culminating in one of their most recent projects—a brand new state of the art health center which includes a full hospital (English and Spanish), a brand new workout facility, gyms, pools, etc.—the nicest this world has to offer, all placed in the middle of a neighborhood nobody believed in. The moment I stepped into their sanctuary (no, LCC is not a mega-church, nor does it have any new buildings), the Spirit of the Lord was so clearly present. I didn’t expect to be swept away with such emotion, but as I walked in I realized that each person who enters those doors want to be there, want to love the Lord, want to worship, and have each made a cognizant choice to do so—because everything in their neighborhood goes against those choices. What a powerful pace, LCC and its congregation. And I was just humbled to participate in their history in some small way.

National Pastors Convention (NPC) is Legitimate
Just go to the link of NPC above, and check out the caliber of folks who were apart of this extraordinary event. Everywhere you turned was a “famous” Christian pastor or author just chillin’ in the San Diego sun, open to whatever conversations they might happen upon. Throughout the week I had some of the most mind-blowing, stimulating conversations of my life! On one of the days, I also felt kind of like cattle getting herded around from interview to interview by my publicist (which, by the way, I was totally ok with!!!); from Rev! Magazine to Christianity Today’s Leadership Journal to Outreach Magazine to the LA Times to the Ooze.com. And I got to finally meet and hang out with a man I’m totally obsessed with: AJ Jacobs, who wrote the New York Times bestsellers Year of Living Biblically and the Know It All. If I could just follow him around my whole life, I’d be a happy guy. What an experience! As for my times of speaking, check this out: NPC partnered with the Christian Global Network Television (CGNTV), and CGNTV chose to broadcast (translated into various languages) my Answering the Tough Questions on Sexual Identity workshop on their station—reaching as far as South Korea! Wow…I don’t have much else to say about that! And then during the introduction to my time speaking at the General Session on Thursday evening, Andy Crouch, who is the Senior Editor at Christianity Today International and author of Publisher’s Weekly 2008 Best Religion Books: Culture Making, said in front of 2,000 pastors:

“I just finished reading Love is an Orientation last night, and I have to tell all of you that this book is explosive! And I don’t know where or how the dust will settle … but that is the exciting, yet very scary part. I have never read anything like it before.”

How about that for an introduction—and I just met the man about fifteen minutes before he said that!? I never expected anything like that. In some not-so-small-way, it’s just another reminder of the importance and uniqueness of what the Lord has asked us to faithfully do as a distinct follower of Him; completely backwards to what the Christian community has always done.

Jubilee is Legitimate
The last time I was in Pittsburgh the crowd wasn’t really too excited about my message. But there’s no better way to change that then to get a bunch of hungry and eager college kids riled up about a bridge building message between them and the GLBT community! It was such an exhilarating (and ridiculously refreshing) time to see the undying and raw passion that so many college kids have, yearning to know how to productively build bridges with their gay and lesbian classmates and campus groups. I just wish you all could have been there experiencing the excitement, yells and Spirit-lead passion these kids had—interactively soaking up each of my words with the anticipation of getting back on campus to counterculturally immerse themselves where they all know Christ would have been. No more walls; no more barriers; no more campus directors persuading them not to experience a life different from theirs! We’re moving this thing grass-roots style, and I can’t wait to see how the Lord will continue to work.

Conclusion
All though I was on the road for 8 consecutive days, having 14-16 hour days of non-stop talking, meeting and collaborating (or as Shane Claiborne says: Plotting Goodness), I have returned better off then when I left! Be encouraged as well—because when I go to all of these places I’m going for all of us, representing each and every bridge builder out there who longs to see a new day of reconciliation in this culture war.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/

Off the Grid

2009-02-09T11:59:00.002-06:00

I want to give everyone a fair warning that I might not be posting until next Tuesday. Over the next nine days I’m going to be speaking in three different States, and have a pretty packed schedule in each city. Here are some of the highlights to come:

Sunday Feb. 8th I will be speaking at both services at Lawndale Community Church in Chicago, and then host a 50 minute workshop as well.

Monday Feb. 9th I fly to San Diego to speak at the National Pastors Convention (NPC) until Friday. Some of the special times planned in San Diego include:

-Getting to hang out with my friends at Youth Specialties, who are based in San Diego
-Get to speak to the pastoral staff at Harbor Church
-Have meetings with three different publishing houses to try and figure out where my next book might be published at
-I have already scheduled times to get to go to breakfast, lunch, dinner, and/or hang out with Scot McKnight, Brian McLaren, Gabe Lyons, Dave Kinnaman, Anne Jackson and Cathleen Falsani at different times throughout the week
-Have two interviews—one with Leadership through Christianity Today and the other with Rev! Magazine

And then on Friday after my last workshop at NPC I’m flying to Pittsburgh to speak at Jubilee Conference to a bunch of college students Saturday and Sunday!!!

Please pray for me this next week as I speak the Lord’s words as I continue to try to bridge the gap.

Much love.
http://www.themarinfoundation.org/